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I am a single mother with 3 children. Ela is 15 and has no problems with her; Jarek 14 years old and Janek 13 years old. Father does not live with us and has not been in contact for 12 years. You could say that they don't know what a father is. In May I had a problem with Janek - there was a problem with finishing primary school (truancy, poor grades). However, after great mobilization, he brilliantly passed the sixth-grade test and finished school. He is currently attending junior high school and is practically alone there (I split the company) - so far he is at peace. I have the most trouble with Jarek. He is in the 2nd grade of lower secondary school. In elementary school, he was the best student. Now he started to cheat on me, skip school, and dropped out of school. When she goes to school, I am afraid that it will come to her and will be in all lessons. I don't know how to deal with boys? I am afraid of everything: bad company, cigarettes, even more intense rebellion, when I will oppose their whims. The boys remind me of my missing father. They do not want to talk to me, explaining that I am not the father and that you do not talk to my mother about such topics.
Yes, boys are entering the age of male affairs and this could use male authority. Look for allies in the family and among educators at school, football team, community center, church. Maybe your son's friend's father would be willing to help you. Don't blame yourself. I see that you are a caring mother and that you have equipped your children with basic values. Teenagers experience the period of rebellion regardless of their family circumstances. Then it is good when someone watches over it, and in the case of boys it is best when it is a responsible man. Try not to lose touch with the boys. Don't condemn them. Act as a caring babysitter. Reassure them that you love them, understand their troubles and that you are ready to help at any time. It is time for more serious talks about the future, profession, dreams, the fulfillment of which requires graduation. Sense boys, even when they appear to be disregarding such topics, consider them alone. Be brave and ask for help from those who have contacts with your sons outside the home. Regards. B.
Remember that our expert's answer is informative and will not replace a visit to the doctor.
Barbara Śreniowska-SzafranEducator with many years of experience.
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