I'm worried about my granddaughter. He goes to the second grade of a gymnasium in a big city. She has always studied well and was active in scouting. She was cheerful and kind. Now there is some other, neglected, often dirty, many threes. She has become husky and sleepy, she doesn't want to joke and talk. Sometimes I think it's that age, but I know there are problems at home. My daughter divorced 2 years ago, my father left for another city, my little brother is now 6 years old. The daughter has a career in science, she has someone. Children are not well looked after. Little says that his sister goes somewhere with the company, sometimes she takes them. I live in a small town 40 km away from them. My granddaughter comes sometimes, but she doesn't want to talk about these matters. I suggested to my daughter that I would take my granddaughter with us, I would look after it, and it would be easier for her with one child. But my daughter is offended that I want to keep my child in the provinces. I cannot go to them because my husband is sick, unless he goes to a sanatorium in May. I feel sorry for the baby, because I can see that it all bites her and there is no joy in her. How can I help? What to do?
Dear Marianna! I suggest that you visit your grandchildren for a while while your husband is in the sanatorium. You will then be able to get a better look at their lifestyle and home situation. There will be more time to talk to your daughter and granddaughter. If it turns out that your assessment of the situation so far is correct, the children lack control and care, and the granddaughter's mental state is bad - talk to your daughter about it. Maybe in the sheer volume of classes he does not notice it or downplays it, treating the adolescent girl's bad mood as a temporary one. When adults organize their lives anew, they often forget about the mental costs incurred by their own children. However, no mother will refuse to help her child. He just needs to see that help is needed. Make her aware that she needs to spend a little more time with her children, be interested in who and how her daughter spends her time, talk about her at school. If she is very busy herself, she has to arrange for the care of the children differently. Your granddaughter is in a difficult age. If he does not find support in his home and family, he will look for it among strangers and may go astray. The changes in behavior and mood that you observe in a girl may be related to family breakdown and difficulty adjusting to the new situation. Such shocks usually disturb the children's sense of security and cause itemotional instability. Maybe your granddaughter needs psychological help to easily go through this difficult period in her life? You and your daughter and teachers must reflect on this. B.
Remember that our expert's answer is informative and will not replace a visit to the doctor.
Barbara Śreniowska-SzafranEducator with many years of experience.
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