We have a three-week-old daughter. We also have a son. And I'm worried about him. Piotruś will soon be four years old. He has always been a cheerful clingy. He did not cause us much trouble. Together, we were glad that he would have a little sister. And now that she was born, Piotrek got very nervous, he often gets angry and cries. He does not even approach Ania. She doesn't want to go to the park with us, she prefers to stay at home with her grandmother. I hate fights, so I let him do it, but I'm worried because the child needs outdoor exercise. I wonder why he has changed so much. Is this a new period in your life? Have I missed something or am I doing it wrong? Magda.
Dear Magda! The change in your son's behavior undoubtedly has to do with the birth of a little sister. It's good that you tried to prepare him for this event. He saw that you were happy and he was happy with you. However, when Ania was born, it quickly turned out that she was not a playmate, and with her arrival in the house there was a new order. So far, all adults' attention has focused on the only child. Everyone had time just for him. Now that has changed abruptly. The focus is on the baby. The family adjusts to Ania's rhythm, you have to be quiet when she sleeps. Mom's hands are still full. She is no longer there at Peter's every call. Try to look at the changes that have occurred in your life from his perspective. It's hard to stop being an only child. Piotruś needs some time to find himself in the new situation. And adults should help him with this. If he withdraws himself and does not want to participate in family life, it is a sign that it is not easy for him. Try to find a little more time for him. Is small. He must, as before, have moments when mom or dad are exclusively for him. He must feel that he is as important and loved to you as before. In the absence of time, do not give up the rituals used so far, e.g. bedtime reading, hugs during a fairy tale, etc. Be interested in his affairs - answer questions, admire the drawings and buildings, listen to his stories. Get involved in helping out with your daily activities. If the walk to the park has been an attraction for him so far, make it appear that you are going out for a walk with him (and of course you take your little sister to see trees, clouds, etc.). Let him decide where to go, what to go tothe park had a lot of fun to make him feel that the walk and the fun are mainly for him. So much in a nutshell. Think about it all more. Piotruś seems different to you, but you also behave differently in relation to the birth of your daughter. This is how we are constructed. Now the point is that everyone should switch to new tracks at the lowest possible cost. Be of good cheer. Piotruś will soon find his place, and in a few years he will be a proud, caring older brother. Regards. B.
Remember that our expert's answer is informative and will not replace a visit to the doctor.
Barbara Śreniowska-SzafranEducator with many years of experience.
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