- Polyamory: rules of multi-love
- Polyamory: Does it have a chance to survive?
- Poliamoria as social training
- Poliamoria in Poland
- Polyamory and open relationship, swinging and sex addiction
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Polyamory, or multiple love or multiple love, is identified by some with an open relationship or the so-called swinging where sex plays a major role. However, as polyamory advocates argue, sex does not play a primary role in their relationship. What is polyamory and how can it be distinguished from simple betrayal?
Contents:
- Polyamory: rules of multi-love
- Polyamory: Does it have a chance to survive?
- Poliamoria in Poland
Polyamoryis a term that comes from the Greek "poly" (many) and the Latin "amor" (love), hence it is accepted to literally define polyamory as multiple love or plural love. According to the official definition, polyamory is a love relationship with more than one person at the same time.
Where did the need for this type of relationship come from? As polyamorists argue, love is liberation from the pressure of monogamy, i.e. imposed norms which, according to polyamorists, take away the freedom of choice and freedom to decide, without giving happiness in return.
Polyamory is not a new phenomenon, but a return to the roots. In ancient tribal cultures, the formation of similar relationships was the basis of functioning. There have always been relationships in different cultures where there was more than one partner (for example, in the 1970s, communes had groups of "flower" children - communities that considered themselves families). Precisely because polyamory is a return to a primitive form of life that has not been regulated by culture or law, it can be scary for some people.
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Polyamory: rules of multi-love
Polyamory is based on clear rules. First of all, a polyamorous relationship is created with the consent of all people in it for such a form of closeness and its realization.
It is based on values such as mutual trust, equality and self-respect. This means that everyone needs to be honest with everyone and talk about emotions openly. Insincerity, disloy alty and betrayal occur when someone goes to bed with someone without telling others about it, or totease someone in a relationship or make them jealous.
Polyamory: Does it have a chance to survive?
According to some psychologists, the chances of survival of polyamorous relationships largely depend on the age of the people who create them. In their opinion, the relationship of people over 30 will last much longer, because they face more stable relationships than 20-year-olds.
The number of people creating this type of relationship is also important. In a polyamorous relationship, each partner should be given the same attention, time and interest. The arrival of another person in a relationship usually changes the amount and quality of time devoted to the partner so far, especially if you additionally raise children.
Here is another problem - how to explain to a young child the nature of this type of relationship?
Poliamoria as social training
According to some psychologists, polyamory is a kind of social training, because it teaches communication, it teaches you to understand feelings, not only your own, but also other people's feelings, and to cope with these feelings (especially with jealousy, because polyamorists do not they treat lovers as rivals and as potential family members). According to some psychologists, polyamory may even help in building a relationship in the future.
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Poliamoria in Poland
Polyamory, unlike polygamy and polyandry, i.e. having many wives / husbands, is not associated with any formalities, it is not an official type of relationship, so the law does not forbid it. However, if a polyamorist lives in a married relationship, many people may interpret such an attitude as betrayal of the husband / wife.
It is hard to say if polyamory used to be less popular than today, because "today's times" are always considered less moral, more promiscuous. Nowadays it is easier to talk about polyamory, more people admit that they are polyamorists, in the past they would be more socially ostracized.
Polyamory and open relationship, swinging and sex addiction
As emphasized by psychologists, among several types of sexual openness, polyamory is the most strongly associated with emotional maturity, because in this type of relationship it is very important to be responsible for other people's feelings and to care for the durability of the relationship.
Not all polyamorous relationships are dominated by sex, moreover, not all relationships have sex. In this type of relationship there are also asexual people, and even thosewho do not have sex, despite the love they have for their partner.
This is confirmed by American research, which shows that for them non-sexual intimacy is more important (e.g. conversations, time spent together). Therefore, polyamory is completely different from swinging or an open relationship that is based on sexual relationships.
Polyamorists should also be distinguished from sexaholics who are looking for more opportunities for sex and conquest. Sexaholics seduce and win, and when they reach their goal, they abandon it. It is also important to distinguish polyamory from polygamy, which means the marriage of one person to several.
Bibliography: Domańska A.,Everything in the family , "Sens" 2012, No. 7