Shyness is a more common problem than you might think. Many people make it difficult to achieve the intended goals, and above all - it causes discomfort in relationships with other people, the inability to do or say what one would like to do. Luckily, you can work on shyness - find out 10 tips for overcoming shyness!
Shynesscan be fought - after all, there are some tried-and-testedways to deal with shyness , although it requires a bit of patience. According to the latest psychological research, as many as 60 percent. adult Poles are considered shy. And this indicator grows by about 1 percent every year. But only a few try to fight their problem, seek advice or support. The rest suffer in hiding.
What can we do to overcome our own shyness? First - and most importantly - you need to realize: I'm shy and I want to change that. And then take action. You don't know how? We give you some proven tips.
How to overcome shyness
1. Precise self-diagnosis
You are rarely shy in all situations. You lose your confidence when you feel threatened. It sometimes happens that someone is blocked when he has to speak in public, and in a narrow circle of friends he is an open person, without inhibitions. So don't label yourself "I'm shy" because once you start doing this, the problem will spread to other areas of your life. You need to observe the situations in which you feel threatened and try to deal with them.
2. Weekly plan
Use the method of small steps. But put more and more of them and keep moving forward. If, for example, you would like to expand your circle of friends, set yourself a long-term plan. Don't throw yourself into deep water right away. Don't assume that if you go to a banquet you will be the life of the party in one evening. It is unreal! And failure can only make your shyness worse.
Rather, during the week you will approach 5 strangers on the street and ask them for an hour or a way. You can also ask the saleswoman in the store to advise you on the selection of goods. Then, tick off the points in your notebook that you have already accomplished. And get on with the next ones. Be consistent. And get a reward for completing the whole plan.
You must do itAsk for help
If your shyness prevents you from functioning normally (you feel a paralyzing fear of contact with people, you close in on yourself, you are afraid of your own helplessness), then be sure to seek help from a psychologist. The sooner the better, because with age the problem will get worse and it will be harder and harder to find and eliminate the cause of shyness. Remember that the first step is always the hardest.
3. Play actress
Imagine a very daring and go-getting person, define what traits they should have, and then just play them as if you were a natural actress. It is important that you practice as much as possible and try not to leave the role, even after you leave the "stage". Remember that the longer you pretend to be who you want to be, the sooner you will become that person. Changing the way you behave changes the way you think. Also on my own.
4. Be specific
A shy person has a tendency to focus attention on himself. She thinks she is the navel of the world, that everyone around looks only at her, only thinks about her and talks about her. And it is not so. Therefore, instead of exaggerating your problems, find some possible solutions to them. Think about the specifics.
If, for example, you think that someone does not like you, do not isolate yourself from that person or convince yourself that you are to blame for it. Rather, think about why you have this impression. And list a few possible reasons in bullet points, and then analyze them coldly. Perhaps that someone does not like you. But maybe he ignored you because he felt unwell or because he was in a hurry, or because something went wrong with him? Everything can be seen in a different, much more favorable light.
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5. Distract
When you are in the company of strangers, do not be obsessive all the time about the fact that you are about to compromise yourself by saying or doing something inappropriate. If you behave unnaturally, then you will certainly get attention much faster. And that's not what you mean!
Therefore, try with all your strength to skillfully direct this attention to others. Hint that the lady sitting opposite has earrings of extraordinary beauty, that the dish just served is delicious, and that the neighbor has taken up a very interesting topic. You will see that the conversation will quickly proceed along the path you have set. And you will manage to get used to the new situation.
6. Take care of yourself
If you havecomplexesabout beauty, do something to improve your appearance: go to a beautician, hairdresser, manicurist, buy yourself some nice clothes. If you feel more attractive, you will stop hiding. And feeling good will make you feel a more valuable person. If you would like to expand your knowledge, have a hobby and dream of developing yourself in the field of science, subscribe to an interest group. You will not only improve your image in your own eyes, but also make a lot of friends. Passion will help you overcome your shyness and open up to others.
7. Take it easy
In crisis situations your body just "goes crazy". The heart beats much faster, the muscles tremble and the blood pressure jumps. Your brain perceives the information: alarm! You sweat and blush, your hands begin to tremble. All this causes your clarity of thought to be disturbed and you panic even more.
You can protect yourself from this by taking a calming pill or by using simple relaxation methods: relax, straighten up and breathe slowly and calmly. After a few minutes, your parasympathetic nervous system will restore your entire body to normal function.
8. Be an optimist
Find a goal and persistently pursue it. Remember that if you assume in advance that you will fail, you will actually fail. You have to believe in your strength and the sense of what you are doing. Also think about the positive consequences of the tasks you undertake. When as a child you said: "I will not go to the store because I'm ashamed", your mother made you realize how much you can gain by overcoming your shyness. "But these cookies are so delicious you absolutely have to try them."
Then you stopped thinking about how afraid you were, because your imagination was starting to work, and it, in turn, pushed you to act. This method is not only suitable for children. You might as well apply it on yourself. The benefit will be twofold: you will do something useful and take a step in the fight against shyness.
9. Don't go to the element
Before you start a task that keeps you awake at night, prepare yourself carefully beforehand. For example, if you need to appear in public, take notes and then practice reading out loud in front of a mirror. You can also ask a loved one to act as your listener. Ideally, if you dared to try to appear in the family forum, you would feel much more confident then.
Don't put off this work until tomorrow though. The sooner you start on yourselfyou work with, the greater your chance of success. Do not be deceived - just before the performance, you will get stage fright anyway. The point is to be constructive, so that you can focus only on the topic of the speech.
10. Think good about yourself
Become … your parent. But only those who take care of their own children, praise them for their achievements and motivate them to continue working. So look at yourself and your problem from a different perspective - think of yourself as a child, but from the position of an older and more experienced person, have an internal dialogue with yourself, take care of yourself. Convince yourself that you are a valuable and conscientious person, so you have no reason to feel inferior to others.
Whenever a negative thought arises, chase it away immediately. Don't think "I'm stupid" just because you don't know something. Rather, think: "I don't understand politics, but I'm great at geography." And it's best to write down your strengths in 10 points on a piece of paper. This will help you believe in yourself. Remember, however, that the most important thing is self-discipline.
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