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Alexithymia is an increasingly popular concept, although it is understood in various ways. For some it is a male, cool emotional style, for others it is a cold bastard style or emotional blindness. What is alexithymia? And is it possible to get rid of it somehow?

Strictly speaking,alexithymia(from Greek a - none, lexis - word, thymos - emotion) means no words for emotions, so it can be said that it is emotional illiteracy.

Aleksytymia or no access to emotions

Aleksytymik has no access to his emotions, he cannot recognize and name them. His ownemotionsare incomprehensible to him, he is not aware of them. Although it is hard to believe, he does not know that emotions are emotions, because he does not understand the nature of the arousal experienced, e.g. when feeling a thrill or excitement, he thinks that it is a thrill caused by a draft.

His heart palpitations and a feeling of heat do not recognize him as being an effect of fear or nervousness. Alexithymic, although he experiences emotions, is unable to contact them cognitively. May feel negative emotions, but is unable to name and understand them. He may feel that something is happening to him, but he cannot explain the reason for it.

May cry without knowing why, be angry but not know who. The scope of ignorance about one's own experiences may therefore be greater or less. It is worth noting that due to the different structure of the brain, alexithymia affects men more often.

Aleksytymia toemotional illiteracy

Alexithymia can be described as a kind ofemotional illiteracy , which arises from an early age, because the ability to contact one's emotions should be acquired at the age of a child. The syndrome can be the result of being brought up in a cold or overprotective home.

Cold upbringing promotes the cult of rationality, it promotes hiding feelings and disregarding them. In the latter case, emotional training is lacking, as parents isolate them from emotional situations. He gets everything on a tray, so he has no time to really want anything. Any negative states are not admitted to it. Alexithymia can also appear as a result of brain damage, such as during tumor surgery.

Alexithymia hinders relationships

Aleksytymik not only is unable to communicate his emotionsothers, but is also incapable of letting those around him inside. Since he does not ascribe words and concepts to emotions, he has no means to understandfeelings . Thus, normal social functioning is impossible for him. He is incapable of empathy and cannot establish interpersonal relationships.

Alexithymic partnerships are doomed to failure, because he cannot understand his partner's feelings. Moreover, not understanding their negative emotions, they tend to put the blame outside and throw responsibility on the environment, which is the direct reason for destroying relationships with others. Social relations are therefore very disturbed.

Alexithymia provokes depression

Alexithymics are also unable to cope with themselves. The inability to deal with emotions causes them to be driven out of consciousness, and the repressed excitation does not cease to exist. This leads to a lack of discharge of tensions and anxiety. Feeling this agitation, and not understanding its reason, the alexithymic treats it as a symptom of some disease.

Therefore, he often struggles with psychosomatic disorders and even addictions. Sometimes he seeks escape in alcohol or drugs. In order to find himself among people, he often pretends to put on a mask, he makes appearances because he sees that people show emotions. He does it like an actor and demonstrates learned patterns of emotional behavior that fit specific situations.

They seem to be very composed, to the point and logical, like programmed cyborgs. Their world is very sad and gray, because one of the components of the alexithymia syndrome is the poverty of the imaginary life. Alexithymics don't dream positively, they don't dream or fantasize.

They are usually accompanied by a high intensity of negative emotions with a low intensity of positive emotions. As a result, an important feature of alexithymics is also a high tendency to succumb to depressive moods. Affected by the syndrome live as if they were dead.

Is alexithymia a disease?

Alexithymia is not defined as a medical condition and there are no strict criteria for its diagnosis. It is a syndrome that can have various conditions. The affected persons themselves have no motivation to seek help. They usually appear during therapy because of the accompanying addiction.

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