My son has been in first grade since September. Already in the first week, a total retreat from school began: reluctance to do homework, cry and pleas to give him my pictures for school because he misses. He does not remember and does not want to remember what was at school, how he played, who he played with, what he learned, etc., he asks not to ask him about school when I leave for work, he cries, he stands by the window. He was always open and outgoing. There are no colleagues now. From the first days he had a lot of difficult homework: lots of additional worksheets and exercises. The conversation with the tutor did not give me anything, and even discouraged me from any conversations, because the teacher said that if I did not like something, I could transfer him to another class or school. When asked if he wants to, the son refuses, because only in this class he has friends and is afraid of change (me too!). What to do? how to help him? Every day I experience the ordeal of morning partings and post-dinner oblivion.
Apparently, your son couldn't stand the collision with the new reality. A baby's nervous system is very fragile. Such "adventures" happen to sensitive children. The set of symptoms you write about shows the boy's shaky sense of security. The baby is very close to you and only keeps his balance when you are close. When you are away, your mental state (most likely anxiety) prevents him from functioning. That is why he does not play, does not remember, and does not want to return to a place where he feels very bad. He needs to be helped out of it, so that he does not fall into severe neurosis and can return to study and life among his peers. Try to be very cordial and warm to him, be with him as much as possible and have fun. Don't ask him questions he doesn't want to answer. Try to invite his friend with whom he liked to play with until recently. Try not to show your own nervousness. Do not leave home alone, only with well-known people who he likes. Be sure to visit a child psychiatrist (Psychiatry Clinic) with your son. Go with your baby and someone else so that you can talk to the doctor one-on-one before your appointment. Do it as soon as possible, because each day makes your son worse. Addresses of the Mental He alth Clinic can be found on the Internet or by telephone from the National He alth Fund. In the clinics, children are under the care of a doctor and psychologistthey interact with each other during diagnosis and treatment. You may not be afraid. They are professionals with practice, kind to children, usually very effective. Good luck. Speak up sometime and write what you managed to do.
Remember that our expert's answer is informative and will not replace a visit to the doctor.
Barbara Śreniowska-SzafranEducator with many years of experience.
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