Hello! I'm 19. For many years I have been suffering from recurrent depression, and I am undergoing psychiatric treatment. I have a problem with my mother, who is very nervous, and when I don't agree with her, she screams a lot, calls me names, jerks me. When I was a boy she was so much, now less. She is a bit overprotective - it was only two years ago that my parents allowed me to go by bus to the other town by myself, she does not allow me to have sex with my girlfriend. My opinion does not count for her - also in choosing the direction of further study. There are times when I hate her. But at the same time, I can't live without her because I love her very much. When I think to myself that I do not love her, my life loses its meaning to me. I have a pale affect. Then I do not feel any emotions, I am not happy about anything, I have no strength for anything, I just sleep. It's terrible.
Hello! I do not know, Michał, what your depression treatment is about, but if it has been going on for many years, it is a signal that it is definitely not effective. Also, what you write indicates that your environment is not cooperating towards your recovery and self-empowerment. You would most need psychotherapy with a good specialist who would help you grow up, mature and cut off the proverbial umbilical cord.
You are trapped in dependence and misunderstood and expressed love. In fact, you are dependent both socially, financially and emotionally on your mother. She is unlikely to "allow" you to live in a separate, independent and fulfilling life of her own accord. Either you will summon up the courage and leave the house on your own, or you will be stuck like this as your mother's little son. At thirty you will be asking permission to kiss a girl and you will be constantly asking what shirt to put on today. Your depression, strong or, on the other hand, "faded" emotions are your defense against the environment you live in. I am afraid that although it is difficult, even though it may hurt, despite the fact that it is an extra effort - for your future good you have to start freeing yourself from Mom's embrace. Go to psychotherapy, preferably some male therapist, and start making your own decisions. Every life, even if you make many mistakes, even if you don't go the straightforward way, is better than having a sleepless one to avoid responsibility for yourself.
Remember thatour expert's answer is informative and will not replace a visit to the doctor.
Tatiana Ostaszewska-MosakHe is a clinical he alth psychologist.
Graduated from the Faculty of Psychology at the University of Warsaw.
She has always been particularly interested in the issue of stress and its impact on human functioning.
She uses her knowledge and experience at psycholog.com.pl and at the Fertimedica Fertility Center.
She completed a course in integrative medicine with the world-famous professor Emma Gonikman.
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