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Four children, each of them planned, long-awaited, loved. After three sons, a daughter was born in August. Four pregnancies and four births. My parents' big dream has finally come true. Although the doctor said during the ultrasound examination that a girl would be born, the parents were not entirely sure. Wioletta Kwapiszewska tells you how to be a fourfold mom.
It was already a few days after the deadline, when on a warm morning of August 7, 2007, I felt the first contractions. I knew what they meant - after three deliveries it was not difficult. I called my dad to keep an eye on the boys, then quickly drove my husband to the hospital. Fortunately - as it turned out later. Not because something bad happened with the baby, but that day in our hospital in Radom, women tochildbirthwere only admitted until noon! In the second hospital, the delivery ward was closed due to disinfection, and soon all delivering women were sent to nearby towns. So I caught up at the last minute. "It's starting not too bad," I thought.
Fourth birth - birth of the desired daughter
My husband returned to the children, and I stayed in the delivery room. It so happened that the doctor who was managing mypregnancywas on call. There was also a wonderful midwife, Mrs. Ula Wabik, who received my every birth and who we treat as a family member. So I had great care. Around noon my waters broke, but although the contractions were painful, the dilation was slow. Unfortunately, oxytocin had to be administered, after which the pain became even greater. Finally in the evening, at 17.50, Milenka was born. We have a longed-for daughter! Although the doctor said during the ultrasound examination that it was a girl, she never has 100 percent. certainty. While still in the delivery bed, I called my husband to share the good news with him. After three boys: Mikołaj (7 years old), Miłosz (5 years old) and Marcel (2.5 years old), a girl was finally born. Immediately after the call, my husband came to the hospital. When he took Milenka in his arms, he was touched and very happy. Three sons are something to be proud of, but we both dreamed ofdaughter . And here our dream has come true!
After childbirth - stay in the family delivery room
Milenka was beautiful and he althy, she weighed 3550 g and was 56 cm. She suckled nicely right away, so no breastfeedingthere were problems. I fed the two eldest sons with this mixture, because I had the impression that they were eating little, and I quickly lost their food. Only when Marcel was born, the feeding was successful - he sucked on the breast for over 2 years.
After Milenka was born, for the entire stay in the hospital I was lying … on the birthing bed, which is high, and therefore a bit uncomfortable. It was so crowded in the delivery room that they had nowhere to put me and I ended up in … the family delivery room!
Three wonderful sons
When I was in the hospital, the most distressing moment was the separation. I missed my children and they missed my mother very much. So when Milenka and I returned home, the boys were crazy with joy. They were already very interested in the baby when they were pregnant and were looking forward to the birth, especially when they found out that they would have a sister. They, together with their dad, chose the name for Milenka. It was obvious that - just like the boys' names - it had to start with the letter M. Soon half of the neighborhood knew about Milenka's birth - the sons had to be proud of each one.
They are really great, they try very hard to help. Even the youngest Marcel brings diapers for Milenka, gives her moisturizing wipes, and when we bathe the baby, she waits to deliver soap, oil or a towel. Miłosz, on the other hand, likes to watch Milenka lie in the crib, chatting and smiling at him; he amuses her with rattles. And when we go out for a walk, sometimes there is even a war about who will be the first to drive Milenka. The boys also like to watch me cook, and while I make dumplings, all three of them stand in the kitchen with their sleeves rolled up, ready to knead the dough.
Everyone is very independent. Santa only attends first grade, and he is so compulsory that you hardly need to keep an eye on him - he remembers about his homework himself. His tasks also include walking the dog, which he does very willingly. The boys have a strong emotional bond. Sometimes, of course, they have arguments and even storms, but they really get along.
With my husband, we agreed from the beginning that we wanted to have a large family, at least three children, and that the age difference would not be large. The husband is an only child and he has always lamented it. But most of all, children are our greatest blessing and happiness, the fulfillment of our feelings.
A large family is a big challenge
I met my husband, Wojtek, when I started working at the Radom Village Museum. This acquaintance made a mess in my life. When I started working there, I was already engaged, my wedding was to take place in 3 months. And then, like a bolt from the blue, this feeling fell on us - it was love at first sight. She shocked both of us. I broke off my engagement, canceled my wedding … April 4, 1999r. we got married, and two months later I got pregnant! It proceeded without any major problems and on February 23, 2000, Mikołaj was born. We gave birth to our first child together and it was an amazing experience for us. The husband was very impressed and then recommended family childbirth to his friends. Anyway, I can always count on him. If I hadn't had his support, I wouldn't have decided to have four children. On a daily basis, of course, Wojtek works, he usually comes home around 7pm, because he does shopping on the way. But when he is with us, he completely "takes over" the guys, and I only take care of Milenka.
Sons love to play with dad - they arrange puzzles together, play board games, read books. They are also mobile and ubiquitous. They love every game that involves running, sneaking and climbing. Chairs, stairs and the edges of the sandbox are not an obstacle for them. There is no hiding place they will not try to fit into. Dad is definitely not bored with them. And every Sunday the husband reigns supreme in the kitchen - he is the one who cooks dinner. On Sundays, we also sit down to a family breakfast, obligatorily with soft-boiled or scrambled eggs, which the boys love, especially when their dad prepares it. It is such a pleasant moment for all of us that in the fall my husband, an avid mushroom picker, gives up trips to the forest so as not to disappoint his sons and eat breakfast together. We want children to feel loved and noticed, so we try to devote as much time to them as they need. Sometimes we feel tired, and when we want to discuss something just for the two of us, we have to lock ourselves in the bathroom. That's why we have a rule: boys should be in bed at 9pm. We need to have some time to ourselves with my husband, to talk calmly and not to go crazy from too much noise.
Four natural births
Each time waiting for a baby was an extraordinary event for me. I cannot say that - as some people think - the third or fourth time you know everything, nothing can surprise a woman, and having a baby is a piece of cake. There is always anxiety for the baby, various problems may arise. Besides, there is so much mystery, even mysticism, that for the mother it is always a one-of-a-kind event.
Fortunately, my pregnancies did not cause me many problems. In the first one, I only gained a lot of weight and had high blood pressure. And the last one was unpleasant in the beginning - the nausea and vomiting were very intense. But then it was fine, I gained only 6.5 kg throughout my pregnancy. I had a lot of positive energy and even the heat was not terrible for me. I felt great and everyone told me I looked nice.
And how was my birth? Behind everyoneI gave birth together in the ways of nature and only one birth, the third, went quickly: Marcel was born an hour after his arrival at the hospital, although he weighed the most, as much as 4300 g! The rest of the deliveries were quite long and of course not painless. Especially the second one was very tiring for me. Friends and family told me that the fourth birth would be faster and easier for sure. In my case, it didn't work out. So it does not have to be the case that the fourth time a woman gives birth "on the move" - quickly, efficiently and without pain. It is always a huge effort. But even after the first two tiring births, I never thought about not having more children because of it. Once again, I want to thank the midwife, Ms Ula, who is present at my every delivery. She is a very experienced midwife and still has a lot of enthusiasm for what she is doing. Warm, friendly, outgoing and always ready to help. Once, even in the middle of the night, she came to me when I needed her.
Children are the meaning of life
Time passes quickly, so from the day of the birth of each of the children I keep his "treasure chest". I put photos of children into the album (also the first ultrasound photos), CTG prints. I have preserved armbands from the hospital, cards with congratulations from friends on the birth of children, the first drawings and cards we got from boys, as well as the first cut hairs and teeth that have fallen out - so far only Mikołaj. I try to describe all the important events in the lives of my children, various funny situations and those that touched us. Sometimes time is short, but then I do it in the evening. I think that when the children grow up, it will be an unusual gift for them from their parents. I don't feel like a heroine, and I don't think it's a sacrifice to have four children. My husband and I just wanted a big family, and we have one. And we are very happy with it. Now, when I am not working professionally, mom's children are exclusive. What they are given during these first years is to equip them for life. But when Milenka goes to kindergarten, I want to work again. Our everyday life will be different then, but the most important thing is that we can count on ourselves, and it will not change. I cannot imagine a home without children. They make me feel that life is worth living. This is happiness lived every day. Such a family is a fantastic adventure.
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