I am a teenager with a serious problem which is shyness. I have never known and still can not make contacts with other people, even among some family members I feel uncomfortable. I don't know what to say or how to behave in a given situation. The worst nuisance for me is school, I always stand alone and for this I am the object of the mockery of my own class. I don't know what to do, I can't cope with it, even though I tried. It happens, even many times, that I no longer have the will to live at all, because why, if no one respects me, does not like me. I would love to change, but I don't know how to do it. My parents know that I am shy that I have no friends. I cheated on them by saying that everything has changed because I'm in a new school (high school). It hurts me a lot that I was and always am alone. I am asking for help.
Shyness is a very common problem in adolescence. It happens that people who were cheerful, bold and direct not so long ago suddenly change, withdraw, take a strange distance from their surroundings and are unable to cross the wall that grows around them. At this age one also has the feeling that everyone, or the vast majority of people around us, is watching us, making fun of us, commenting on our moves or the lack of them, etc. We feel as if we are completely unimportant, but still central to the universe. And here is the paradox - seemingly unimportant, shy, but still inside. Believe me, our ideas are far from reality. People are preoccupied with their own affairs and do not observe us as often, do not comment on us, and do not pay as much attention to us as we suspect them. If you see the world in this way, your shyness will become less. Changes in such a situation always relate to certain behaviors. They rely on checking, testing, risking - things you can't dare to do right now. Unfortunately, until you try it, you won't find out if your view of the world and others is true. Is it really true that everyone doesn't like you? Why should it be so? Maybe it applies to several people, maybe there are some people who are simply indifferent and would like to meet you? Don't be so sure about your ideas. You probably set too much of yourself too - you want everyone to like you, to make youshe was the most articulate and witty, very popular and if not, then everything sucks. Maybe it is worth making your ideas real and, for example, looking around - maybe at school there is a similar to you, not a brave person with whom you could talk, laugh, make friends. It sure is - maybe you need to stop just waiting, but also take even a tiny step yourself? Give it a try. If you fail, the world won't collapse and the sun will rise in the morning anyway. Regards. Tatiana Ostaszewska-Mosak
Remember that our expert's answer is informative and will not replace a visit to the doctor.
Tatiana Ostaszewska-MosakHe is a clinical he alth psychologist.
Graduated from the Faculty of Psychology at the University of Warsaw.
She has always been particularly interested in the issue of stress and its impact on human functioning.
She uses her knowledge and experience at psycholog.com.pl and at the Fertimedica Fertility Center.
She completed a course in integrative medicine with the world-famous professor Emma Gonikman.
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