He knows his worth and knows what he wants from life. She is active, athletic, attractive, aware of her body and spirit, open to sex. She wears high heels and mini dresses. We talk to Mariola Bojarska-Ferenc, a precursor of a he althy lifestyle in Poland, about the fact that life does not end after fifty.
The ubiquitous cult of youth causes many women in their 50s to paralyze the fear of being unattractive, old. They are afraid that they will lose their job and not find another one, that their relationship will fall apart. But you can look at your life from a different perspective.
Are you not afraid of the passage of time?
Mariola Bojarska-Ferenc:The woman is as old as she deserves - Coco Chanel used to say. I have been following this principle from an early age. I try to be a neat person. From my youth, I had a code that I had to have time for a manicure and pedicure, that I had to cut my hair once a month. I urge you ladies to be he althy selfishness, because no one will love you more than yourself. I take care of my he alth, regularly do tests, move a lot, watch what I eat, and try to maintain my inner harmony. More than a perfect body, I care about keeping my life energy, humor and distance to myself.
But can life be exciting after 50?
M.B-F.:It's not that after fifty we suddenly find ourselves in another fairy tale. The key to success is accepting your age and the changes it brings. Some have to be accepted, others have to be de alt with. For example, due to hypothyroidism, I am not able to eliminate my tummy, even if I exercise myself to death. If I know I have no influence over something, I don't get frustrated.
But I don't understand why a woman in her 50s should lose her job if she's creative. And I have thousands of such letters from you, and it is sad. Now that my sons don't live with us, I have so much time to myself that I work three times as much as before. I recently published my fourth book, "Klub 50+", and I already have plans for next year. I travel more, I learned to use the computer better, I improve my English, I read a lot. When you have to fulfill specific tasks, you rejuvenate yourself. Fifty years is a good time to develop interests, hobbies, to do everything that has not been done beforetime.
How do you take care of your skin and body?
M.B-F.:I buy good face creams - they won't smooth wrinkles for sure, but they eliminate unpleasant pulling. In the morning and in the evening, I clean my face and neck with a lotion or micellar water, I pat my body with tons of lotions.
I like sunbathing, so I always check if I have any stains after the holidays, and if they appear, I remove them in an aesthetic medicine office. I have a face massage once in a while.
I drink a lot of water to moisturize the skin from the inside and flush out toxins from the body, only green or mint tea, I have never smoked and I do not allow anyone to smoke in our house, even if they feel like it. I am of the opinion that after fifty you have to help nature. That's why I have a mesotherapy treatment for my face from time to time. But I will not decide on drastic procedures or plastic surgery.
You persuade women to play sports. Why is it so important?
M.B-F.:I've been practicing since I was seven. Sport shaped my character, gave me strength, perseverance, self-esteem, programmed me for success. I learned from sport that nothing is impossible. If you work and have a strong psyche, you will climb the podium. Life is just like sports - you have no self-confidence and you can't brag, you won't be successful. When I was a child, I looked at other gymnasts with admiration and often told my trainer that they were better than me. Then she said I wasn't allowed to think that. I tell women: If you know you're good, fight for yourself at work. Don't be afraid of the boss kicking you out. But when you feel that you are not coping with something, learn first. I don't like slyness. You have to do your best to be successful.
Sport gives strength, but is it possible to start training at the age of 50?
M.B-F.:There is no age limit to start training. Any motivation is good, as long as it forces us to exercise, appropriate to the needs and abilities, at least half an hour a day. It is best to choose what we enjoy - instead of a gym, we can go for a walk, swimming pool, bike, jogging, yoga, then we exercise with pleasure. Moving from childhood means that I still have the energy of a twenty-year-old and almost the same weight as years ago, I set new goals for myself and fight for success that gives me wings. Exercise helps you stay he althy. I am an example that it works.
What else is important for fitness and well-being?
M.B-F.:Eating wisely. I have never used the miracle diet, howeverI have always eaten rationally. I choose products with low energy density and high nutritional content, i.e. those with low sugar or fat content, but a lot of water, fiber, vitamins and minerals. I eat mostly vegetables, fish, some white meat. Such products are not caloric, so you can eat a lot of them. Even though I love Italian cuisine, I limit my pasta intake, I don't eat potatoes, I don't have any bread either, sometimes I eat two crispbread for breakfast.
You dedicated your last book to your husband and sons. You wrote: "They give me strength and I owe my wings to them."
M.B-F.:My greatest success is a happy family. We are 28 years old with my husband and as friends say - we are a perfect couple. I often hear from my friends: "Your Ryszard can do it all: he will screw the light bulb in, cook it, help you choose clothes and also say that you look nice". But if in 25 years you haven't asked your husband to turn on the bulb, then he is surprised that he has to do so. And there is a scandal. When asked about the secret of our relationship, I answer: we are pretending nothing. From the very beginning, we clearly communicate our needs and talk to each other a lot. The relationship must be nurtured, its worst enemy is routine. We like to make surprises, we arrange dates. We also make sure that the proportions between the common space and our own space are not disturbed. Everyone must have time for themselves.
I have two lovely sons, from my first and second marriage. And I am the grandmother of 2-year-old Marcel and 9-month-old Wiktoria. I am an unusual grandmother, because instead of reading fairy tales to my grandchildren, I do flips with them on the carpet. When my grandchildren get a little older, I will do everything to infect them with my passion for sports. I would love them to love an active life as much as I do.
You declare that you love sex, breaking the stereotype that is rooted in us that you do not talk about it.
M.B-F.:Sex is no taboo for me. Every woman who feels wanted grows younger. Ladies over 50 are afraid of not accepting the changes that their body is subject to, which is why they often hide them from their partners. It is known that it is difficult for a mature woman to compete with a 30-year-old in terms of appearance. But is there such a need? Let's not go crazy! If a man loves, he accepts us as we are. If not, nothing will help. In your 50s, sex can be more enjoyable because we already know what we really want, what we like and don't like, and what we enjoy. It gives a sense of security and closeness in a relationship, guarantees a better mood, prettier skin and energy. Sex is not about boredom, but getting to know itexciting new things. A bit of madness makes the mutual excitement last forever.
How did you cope with the menopause?
M.B-F.:When the hot flashes appeared, I quickly went to the gynecologist and started a replacement therapy. The menopause is not the end of the world. I will say more, there are benefits to it. There is no need to limit yourself or protect yourself from an unwanted pregnancy. Under the supervision of a doctor, you can go through this period gently, so I urge women to get regular checkups.
Have you ever thought to brake a little?
M.B-F.:I only live once, so no! I want to be on time with everything I have planned! I am over fifty years old and that's why I created the program "Klub 50 plus - always in shape" on the air of Questions for breakfast on TVP2, in which I argue that the "fifty" is still an attractive, young woman in spirit, fulfilling herself in many fields, both professional and private . High-speed operation and work give me strength. The fact that everyone thinks that I have so much energy and can handle everything makes me even more energized. With age, the activity should increase, or at least the same, as long as we do not lose ourselves. That's why in everything I do, it's me first, then everything else.
Mariola Bojarska-FerencPolish queen of fitness, a precursor of a he althy lifestyle, producer and author of television programs, articles, books promoting active recreation and he althy eating, videos with gymnastic exercises. In her latest book, Klub 50+, she advises on how to take care of yourself to be a he althy, fulfilled and happy woman. He hosts the "Sztuka życia" program on TVP2 and the "50+ Club" series in "Question for breakfast". Active on Facebook and blog.