I am a teenager raised from childhood only by my mother. I love her very much and I would like her to find a partner and a "father" for me. A man has recently entered our life. I have known him for a long time (my mother too), but he entered our life a few months ago. Everything would be fine, but I don't trust him very much. I fought against not accepting him because I thought it was "jealousy" of my mother, who is my best friend. However, I have a very good intuition for people (my mother often found out about it) and he does not suit me as a person who would live with us or decide about my life. How do I tell my mom? I am afraid that she will not take it as jealousy or my bad intentions about her life … There are times when she gets along with him (fairly), but we also often argue about trivialities. I try to compromise, but in my opinion He wants to be all-knowing, but also able to pass his wisdom on to others. In fact, I perceive it quite differently. He says he doesn't want to interfere (like my father) with my life, but he is not. I need my father's care, but not the kind he gives me. What should I do? I have mixed feelings.
First of all, if your mother is really close to you, talk to her honestly. Tell her about your doubts exactly as you did when writing to me. Mum should understand that you are a bit afraid, you worry, you have doubts. She probably has them too. She is an adult and probably looks at your situation a bit differently. She knows she has to consider many different aspects of the relationship. If it wasn't, you would probably already be faced with decisions that you wouldn't have the slightest influence on. What you feel is important and mom should know about it. But the second thing is that in a few years you will be much more involved in life outside the home, you will be leaving soon, and your mother will be left alone. She should also take care of her future, not depriving herself of a chance for a relationship, happiness, being with another person. Make it clear to yourself, maybe the problem isn't as serious as you see it now, without the information your mom can tell you.
Remember that our expert's answer is informative and will not replace a visit to the doctor.
Tatiana Ostaszewska-MosakHe is a clinical he alth psychologist.
Graduated from the Faculty of Psychology at the University of Warsaw.
AlwaysShe was especially interested in the issue of stress and its impact on human functioning.
She uses her knowledge and experience at psycholog.com.pl and at the Fertimedica Fertility Center.
She completed a course in integrative medicine with the world-famous professor Emma Gonikman.
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