VERIFIED CONTENTAuthor: lek. Patryk Jasielski
Borderline emotionally unstable personality is one of the most common personality disorders. It is characterized by mood swings, bouts of intense anger, and unstable and often turbulent interpersonal relationships. The symptoms that occur vary according to the subtype of the disorder. What are the most common symptoms of borderline personality disorder silent?
People withborderlineare very irritable. They are dominated by a feeling of inner emptiness, so they try hard to keep people with them, so as not to remain abandoned and rejected. However, the symptoms of this disorder may vary depending on its subtype. Scientists distinguished four main types of borderline:
- impulsive,
- irritable,
- self-destructing
- and quiet.
Each of them is characterized by slightly different symptoms, often difficult to differentiate or notice. In this article, we will discuss the latter of the following subtypes, i.e. the silent subtype. The most common and characteristic symptoms will be described.
Quiet borderline - 10 symptoms:
1. Inhibiting anger / denying that you feel angry
People with borderline personality disorder often experience extreme emotions, including anger. Third parties can see this quite easily because they don't hide these emotions.
However, in the quiet subtype, the bystander will not notice that such a person is feeling anger. This is due to the strong need to brake in the presence of people. People with silent borderline disorder do not show that they are angry.
Even if someone notices that something is happening, they will immediately deny it, saying that everything is fine.
2. Quick mood changes, imperceptible to others
People with borderline personality disorder tend to feel unstable in their mood. They feel joy at one moment, and soon it will turn into sadness and resignation.
For observers it is a real "merry-go-round". In people of the quiet subtype, this mood swing also occurs. However,as with anger, they hardly ever show what they are feeling at the moment.
To others, they may seem indifferent, alienated, although at the same time, inside, they actually feel a lot of extreme emotions.
3. Blaming yourself when a conflict arises
Among people with the silent borderline subtype, there are often behaviors aimed at quickly alleviating the resulting conflict. This is because these people tend to blame themselves for causing the misunderstanding.
They are convinced that it was their words or behavior that caused the quarrel. Even when this is not true, it is very difficult to convince them otherwise. As if from an automaton, they think of themselves as provocateurs of tension and want to ease them as soon as possible.
4. Chronic feelings of guilt and shame, feeling of emptiness
The feeling of guilt and shame quite often accompanies people suffering from quiet borderline. They are convinced that everything that they have failed or failed to work out is the result of their neglect or lack of skills. They cannot look at their failures in a critical way - they blame themselves only at once.
Also in the case of cooperation, they treat lack of success as their personal fault. They are ashamed of themselves and their lives. They are also accompanied by a feeling of inner emptiness. It is a feeling of loneliness, of being unfulfilled, of being forced to live.
People like this find it hard to deal with the void. Feeling it is also associated with a higher risk of depression and suicide attempts.
5. Feeling derealized and depersonalized
Other common symptoms are the feeling of derealization and depersonalization. The first symptom is the impression that the world around us does not exist, it is made up, artificial. What surrounds such a person seems like a daydream. There may be an impression of a lack of a sense of time, as well as consistency, adjustment to reality. A person with a quiet borderline is convinced that he does not fit in with the world around him.
The second symptom, depersonalization, means a disturbance in self-perception. The person with this disorder has the impression that I am watching my body and mind from the outside. She is separate from each other. There is a sense of being in a dream and alienation from one's own body or mind coexisting with it. Self experiences are perceived as artificial and unreal.
6. No distance, receiving everything personally
People with quiet borderline can be very sensitive about themselves. Even an innocent joke may be considered an attack on their person. They lack self-confidence, so take all comments very personally.
They aredistrustful, they treat the will to help as criticism and an attempt to ridicule. They do not distance themselves from each other, so it is difficult for them to turn it all into a joke in case of a mistake or mistake.
7. Social anxiety, tendency to isolate
Silent borderline is often accompanied by a sense of anxiety in social situations. Such people have big problems with making new friends. Speaking to a group of people, being assessed and criticized, is paralyzing for them.
Anxiety may, just like in social anxiety disorder, appear in certain situations, e.g. during a meal together, at play, at work or at school. Due to the tendency to isolate themselves, it is difficult for people suffering from quiet borderline to maintain established relationships and create lasting friendships or relationships. Often their relationships with others are fleeting and not very binding.
8. Difficulty building relationships, fear of rejection and loneliness
In addition to social anxiety and isolation, silent borderline is accompanied by conflicting trends. On the one hand, people with this disorder experience a strong fear of loneliness. They want contact with people so that they will not be left alone.
On the other hand, they feel a huge fear of being rejected by people. They are afraid to fully engage in relationships so as not to get hurt. All this leads to the above-described isolation and great difficulty in building real, he althy interpersonal relationships.
9. The conviction of being a burden to others and trying to please, even at your own expense
Silent borderline personality disorder is also characterized by low self-esteem and the resulting feeling of burdening others. People with this problem have a hard time asking others for help or favors. They do not feel good enough to receive such help. They prefer to solve a given problem on their own rather than ask someone for support.
On the other hand, due to the strong need to maintain relationships with people, they often try to please them. They can give up their own plans and free time, just to win someone's sympathy, e.g. by helping with a task.
All this leads to a situation that they give up their own plans and ambitions in order to gain someone's attention and the impression of friendship for a while.
10. Suicidal thoughts / self-harm
People with the silent borderline subtype, as in other subtypes of this personality disorder, have thoughts of suicide. Often they can use threats of suicide in order to gain attention and interest from the environment. However, sometimes when they cannot cope with the feeling of emptiness and problemslife, they can take their own lives. They can also mutilate themselves in order to gain the attention of those around them or to reduce the feeling of inner tension and emptiness.
People with silent borderline personality disorder may often appear to be he althy, without the disorder. They can skillfully hide their problems and inner tension. They can appear to be very helpful and somewhat aloof people. They often don't know why they have difficulty establishing relationships and feel a depressing void.
If someone from the environment is suspected of having this type of personality disorder, it is worth talking to her and referring her to psychological help - a psychiatrist or psychologist. Properly conducted therapy can reduce the perceived symptoms and improve everyday functioning in society.