Hello, I have a serious problem, but I cannot name it clearly - hence the question mark. However, I will try to describe it quite clearly. I am 27 years old, 3 years ago I graduated in humanities, then postgraduate and several courses - it cost me a lot of effort and work, because I took my studies and learning very seriously. So it can be considered that I have a good education. Despite this, I have not been able to find a job for three years. My problems started shortly after graduation - there was a depressed mood, irritation and tearfulness. I explained it to myself as a normal reflex of a collision with an adult, hard life, the effect of stepping out from under a warm shade that I had during my studies. Unfortunately, such a state returns cyclically, interrupted by periods of better well-being. At the moment, I feel very bad - I have a feeling that I am worth nothing, that I have not achieved anything so far. I can't meet my old friends because I don't have a topic in common with them anymore - I can't hear about their careers and achievements when I haven't achieved anything myself. I got married a year ago, but happiness did not last long. Already at the first such "attack" I noticed that my husband does not understand my situation, he is unable to empathize with it and support me in any way. In the meantime, there were more failures in looking for a job. A few weeks ago, another job offer, which I had high expectations for, was lost. Since then, I'm down again. I don't see the point in life, I've changed my lifestyle, I can't fall asleep at night, and when I fall asleep, I sleep for a very long time - sometimes 12 hours, then I'm broken all day, I don't have the strength to deal with anything specific. Besides, there aren't many things that I enjoy. I have the impression that I am against the wall, I do not know what to do next and how to look for a way out of my situation, I am powerless. Most visits to a job website end in crying. My problem is having a bad effect on my marriage - I have the impression that my husband does not understand me and thinks that I should pull myself together and "do something with myself" - and he often tells me that. And I can't pull myself together. Sometimes I find myself thinking that it would be better for everyone if I weren't there, that I had disappointed my parents' and husband's expectations (because he wasn't setting up a family with such a person, because he has the right to return from work and find a normal one there, smiling wife). I'm angry with myself for thatinstead of doing something with my life, I spend my days on the couch. But I just don't have the strength to do anything, and I don't even know how to start. I am torn, I worry about everything on one side and fear everything, and on the other I just want everyone to leave me alone. I don't know what to do next. I know your answer will not solve my problem, but maybe at least you will give me some suggestion about my condition and what to do next. Thanks in advance.
Hello! In fact, my answer won't get you anywhere unless you take specific action. It all looks like a mild form of depression that has been building up slowly over a long time. It is reinforced and triggered by life events and subsequent failures. It doesn't matter what they were, if there were several or just one, but if they triggered this painful chain of bad emotions, loss of motivation and drive, it means that they were very significant to you. Why did this happen? Probably for reasons that are inherent in your psyche. Your way of thinking and evaluating yourself, the world and others. The good news, however, is that you can manage it and return to the happier side of life. Seek professional psychological help as soon as possible. It's best to find someone who conducts Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, as this therapy works relatively quickly. In Krakow, you shouldn't have any problems with that. It's a waste of time for such states. Especially since they are actually almost incomprehensible to those who do not experience them - there is nothing to blame them. It just is. So let's go to work - let me help you. Trust someone who knows it.
Remember that our expert's answer is informative and will not replace a visit to the doctor.
Tatiana Ostaszewska-MosakHe is a clinical he alth psychologist.
Graduated from the Faculty of Psychology at the University of Warsaw.
She has always been particularly interested in the issue of stress and its impact on human functioning.
She uses her knowledge and experience at psycholog.com.pl and at the Fertimedica Fertility Center.
She completed a course in integrative medicine with the world-famous professor Emma Gonikman.
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