I have been married for two years and I have not had sex with my husband for almost the entire time. I got pregnant before my wedding. At the beginning of the marriage, we did not get along, my husband was aggressive towards me, he used violence at times. Then our son was born, I was chronically tired and I did not want any caresses. I thought this period would be over and everything would be fine. I was wrong, my son is 19 months old, and I still don't let my husband touch me, I even feel disgusted. I don't know where the prob is.
Hello Aneto! There are probably several factors at work here, because it is never likely that this type of prolonged state is influenced by only one element. The first is that - very simple, although it is rarely considered that you just got used to sex a bit. Or rather, your body has become weaned and your feeling has become different. The more so because during this time there have been such changes as pregnancy, childbirth, puerperium, and months after childbirth. The longer the break, the more difficult it is for some women to return to full sexual activity afterwards. The second factor is that perhaps sex has never been a strong point in your relationship, and you are not very motivated to work on it. In addition, there is a dislike of your husband, for whom you probably have a lot of regret and resentment. You may even be slightly aware of them, but they have a tremendous impact on such a delicate sphere as the sexual sphere. Women usually have sex for love and to strengthen or embellish love, so difficulties arise when the relationship goes wrong. So at the beginning it would be necessary to deal with the marriage itself, your communication, closeness, mutual warmth and understanding, because without it, sex will probably never be sensational. And there is also the fertility aspect of sex - if you are afraid of another pregnancy, you do not want to or cannot really get into it, and you are not protected, the very thought of sex may bother you. Worry enough to avoid him like plague. My advice - make your relationship stronger first, and an improvement in your sex life will be a nice aftermath.
Remember that our expert's answer is informative and will not replace a visit to the doctor.
Tatiana Ostaszewska-MosakHe is a clinical he alth psychologist.
Graduated from the Faculty of Psychology at the University of Warsaw.
She has always been particularly interested in the issue of stress and its impact on human functioning.
She uses her knowledge and experience at psycholog.com.pl and at the Fertimedica Fertility Center.
She completed a course in integrative medicine with the world-famous professor Emma Gonikman.
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