Lying is commonplace in my husband's family house, maybe it has some influence on the fact that he is still lying? He is malicious, he can lie with his vivid eyes and even his eyelid does not twitch. In general, my husband changes his mind from minute to minute, it is difficult to communicate with him, and the basis of the relationship is after all the trust that I have less and less towards him. Can this case be "fixed"? In turn, I am terribly jealous. Can I somehow control this feeling?
You described the problem very generally. It is not known what the lies are about, what behavior of your husband you perceive as malicious. In addition, the letter looks a bit as if you were reporting an upbringing problem with your child. Perhaps in some part of your relations the husband takes on the role of the "child" and the lady plays the role of the "parent". If so, my advice is to approach your husband's behavior in a more adult manner. This means, for example, not to insist that the husband necessarily confesses his lies, not to prove to him that he is telling the truth. Trust in a relationship is important, but it's important to develop self-confidence. You have not written what your jealousy is about. Please check what exactly it concerns and how it manifests itself. It can be argued that to some extent the experience of jealousy is an integral part of the relationship. The problem arises when it is excessive. My advice is to consider whether you have too much need to control your husband. If so, maybe it would be possible to "let go" a bit, because it is impossible to control anyone completely anyway. The less compulsion to control, the less jealousy is.
Remember that our expert's answer is informative and will not replace a visit to the doctor.
Józef SawickiA specialist in individual therapies with many years of psychotherapeutic experience. In clinical work, she deals with psychotic patients. He is interested in the philosophy of the East. More at www.firma-jaz.pl.
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