I am raising my 20-year-old son by myself. Until his 18th birthday he did not know his father, because he did not respond to my requests to "reveal" himself to my son. However, on my 18th birthday, at my request, he visited us and took part in a very private party. Since then, he has been making calls to Jakub or he to the Father more than once, but these contacts are very cold and artificial on both sides. The son is studying at the moment, he often says that maybe he would visit his father, but he never invites him (maybe he has a family that does not know about the existence of Jakub or knows little). Should I participate in this conviction of my father about the change of attitude towards Jacob, or should I give up on it and rather explain to my son that he should not worry about his father's attitude, because nothing will change him? I would like to add that I never spoke badly about Jakub's father before him, nor did I explain to him what really happened, we are alone. Thank you for your help and best regards
Hello! I don't think a call or two would hurt anyone. However, please make sure that your son really needs contact with the father. if so, perhaps the father should be encouraged to do so. I don't know what kind of person he is and why he doesn't contact his son. Maybe he thinks it's too late now, maybe he just doesn't know how to get down to it, maybe he is not good at relations with others and he feels that he will screw up, he will do something wrong … There are many possibilities. However, whatever it is, you can try it. If, after that, it does not give a sign of life, it will probably have to be accepted. I admire your strength and perseverance - raising your son on your own, refraining from remarks and comments, arranging a meeting after many years … it required great emotional strength. Bravo!
Remember that our expert's answer is informative and will not replace a visit to the doctor.
Tatiana Ostaszewska-MosakHe is a clinical he alth psychologist.
Graduated from the Faculty of Psychology at the University of Warsaw.
She has always been particularly interested in the issue of stress and its impact on human functioning.
She uses her knowledge and experience at psycholog.com.pl and at the Fertimedica Fertility Center.
She completed a course in integrative medicine with the world-famous professor Emma Gonikman.
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