The sandwich generation consists of people over 40 who are professionally active and "oriented". Their position means that they have to financially support both their parents who are no longer working and their adolescent children who are not yet working or are just starting their careers. Are you from the "sandwich" generation? Check what's waiting for you.

It might seem to someone that middle age is the best time in a person's life. Children are growing up, things are going somehow at work, because we have achieved positions that bring us more decent earnings. The stabilization we are all about is slowly becoming a fact.

And yet we still feel the lack of time and the burden of responsibility for everything and everyone. Someone always wants something from us, we are always busy with other people's matters, because children, because old parents, because grandchildren have appeared.

Do you have a feeling that you are not following and that you are probably not suitable for the head of a multigenerational family? We cheer you up! You are not alone in this. You just unnoticed become a member of the club called theSandwich Generation.

Sandwich generation: what is it?

Sandwich generation is a sociological concept referring to the generation of middle-aged, professionally active people who look after adolescent children, aging parents, and in some cases also subsequent generations, i.e. grandchildren and grandparents.

Demographic changes in societies and cultural changes mean that, on the one hand, people live longer and, on the other hand, young people are becoming more and more independent. As a result, both of these "non-productive" generations expect support from professionally active family members.

Poor pensions of parents mean that the sandwich generation often has to contribute to their maintenance. Buying medicines, a new washing machine or going to a sanatorium are often costs that retirees or disability pensions cannot afford.

Young people also require financial assistance. Those who study do not work, and if they already earn extra money in a bar or as a babysitter, they spend the money they earn on pleasures, such as a cinema or a new blouse. Food, dormitory, bike or vacation - parents pay for them.

When talking about the support that people from the sandwich generation give to their parents and children, we must remember that it is not only about maintenance or financial assistance. It alsothe free time devoted to them, as well as, perhaps the most difficult, the entire burden of responsibility for the family and the stress associated with it.

Sandwich Generation: Everyday

An example day of an exemplary person from the sandwich generation may look like this:

  • prepares children for school in the morning - it happens that there are three children to support and each of them goes elsewhere,
  • once they are fed and supplied for the road, it's time for a quick coffee and is already packing into the car,
  • if we manage to keep the order and each child happily finds himself in the appropriate educational institution, he rushes to …
  • … nice, light and well-paid job,
  • at work, apart from carrying out daily duties, she finds time to contact her parents to arrange a drive to see a doctor, shop or friends,
  • a member of the sandwich generation has an extremely tight schedule, so making such arrangements always creates a lot of nerves,
  • such a man is chasing him straight from work to school / kindergarten, to take his child / children to the swimming pool / ballet / English language / speech therapy / fencing / dry mortar / robotics, etc.,
  • after leaving the children for extra-curricular activities, they have time to follow the courses arranged with their parents to the supermarket, clinic or church,
  • after returning home, you should take care of dinner for tomorrow, but before that you have to do your homework with the children, do some washing, clean up, pay the bills,
  • if there is already the next generation in the family, young parents will surely not forget about us, we have a guaranteed walk or a few hours of caring for their grandson, because they just fell out of something, for example an unexpected trip to the cinema.

Sandwich generation: where is the hope?

When it comes late in the evening, we sandwich people are just dead. Maybe we feel fulfilled, but at the same time we think that we let ourselves be used, that we really have nothing of this life. The day is not made of rubber, it cannot be stretched so that there is enough time for all our intentions.

There are people who like such burning on the altar of the family very well, they cannot imagine anything better. But most of the time it's not a dream situation.

Usually, we don't want to limit our lives to being a protector of the old, young and quite small. We do not have the strength and will to take responsibility for several generations around us. And then frustration grows in us, sometimes rebellion, and sometimes depression. We feel trapped, just like that ham in a sandwich between two buns.

Help deniedrelatives would make us feel guilty, and the lack of time to pursue our own plans and dreams makes us unhappy. How to cope with this difficult situation? It seems that the best we can propose is a compromise.

We have children, do we have older parents? They should be cared for. But if we do not take care of the minimum time for ourselves, this constant chase will kill us very quickly. Therefore, a bit of assertiveness, even selfishness, is recommended.

Let's try to get the family together for a brief meeting. Let's present them our idea for a slight rearrangement of family layouts. They will surely understand that having you he althy, more refreshed, happier, they will only benefit from it.

We have the right to expect help with household chores from older children. Even if they have been released from them so far, even if they experience a slight shock at the beginning, they will undoubtedly benefit from relieving you a bit.

In short: let's try to compromise, let's try, at all costs, to reserve even a small part of the day just for ourselves. Then everything will start to taste different, and work and parenting and rest.

Category:

Geriatrics