I have a child from my first marriage. The child maintains contact with the biological father. I am currently married and expecting my second child. Currently, my child from his first marriage calls my husband "uncle", but he signals that it is troublesome for her and she would like to call him "dad", just like our unborn child. I know her father would not accept that. A daughter would like her unborn brother not to know that my husband is not her father. He asks us not to tell him this. I also do not want to explain to everyone why he says to my husband "uncle". What should we do in this situation?
Hello! Personally, I wouldn't have any problem with a child calling his stepfather "Daddy". Especially when things go well between them and he de facto plays the role of a rearing father. It is quite rare, but also optimistic, that it is the child who reports such a need. Apparently, he is comfortable in the role of his child and treats him as an integral part of her family. Such attitudes need to be strengthened and try to last as long as possible. When it comes to explaining various intricate kinship issues, they should always be adjusted to the child's understanding. I think over time you will come up with the kind of explanation that will please all of you. However, the truth should always be presented, albeit as gently and as calmly as possible. You will manage, because you are probably creating a loving family.
Remember that our expert's answer is informative and will not replace a visit to the doctor.
Tatiana Ostaszewska-MosakHe is a clinical he alth psychologist.
Graduated from the Faculty of Psychology at the University of Warsaw.
She has always been particularly interested in the issue of stress and its impact on human functioning.
She uses her knowledge and experience at psycholog.com.pl and at the Fertimedica Fertility Center.
She completed a course in integrative medicine with the world-famous professor Emma Gonikman.
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