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Well, over a year ago I had a wonderful little daughter, whom I love very much and I would give my life for her. Unfortunately, my married life has not been idyllic since then. To this day, I cannot fully accept the fact that I now have a lot of time for myself, and most of the events and activities around me revolve around my daughter. I can't relax at home, I miss peace and can't get used to the constant confusion and mess. As a result, I began to avoid staying at home (for work) and spending time with my family (especially my daughter). It worries me, because soon she will need me more and more, and I would like to run away from this whole situation as far as possible. I am asking for advice and best regards.
Hello! Having a baby is always a crisis! Both in a positive and negative sense of the word. It is difficult, it is different, it is strange. It is interesting and sometimes fun, but rather more stressful. Of course, each of us reacts differently because we are different. Some of us do not mind the mess and rush as much as others. Unfortunately, not all things can be escaped. Sometimes you just have to get used to it, and sometimes you also have to introduce your cleanup. The more you avoid, the more difficult it will be to "trample" your place in this mess. You will lose the unique opportunity to imprint your mark in this home diary. I know it is hard, but try to identify what exactly is the difficulty and approach it to solve the problem. Maybe do it with the help of a psychologist - the role of a beginning father is very difficult and demanding - do not be surprised that you do not immediately feel in it as if it is the role of your life. You can also go to the bookstore and look for items for young daddies, of which there are so many now. Believe me, you are not the only one in such troubles - today's fathers, when faced with many tasks, often get a little lost. But usually, when children grow up and can be better connected with, fathers also feel better. Another issue is the need to take care of the marriage and the wife. If you don't know how to spend time with your daughter at the moment, at least make sure that you spend a good time with your wife more often. She will certainly be grateful to you for that and your relationship will revive a bit.
Remember that our expert's answer hasinformative and will not replace a visit to the doctor.
Tatiana Ostaszewska-MosakHe is a clinical he alth psychologist.
Graduated from the Faculty of Psychology at the University of Warsaw.
She has always been particularly interested in the issue of stress and its impact on human functioning.
She uses her knowledge and experience at psycholog.com.pl and at the Fertimedica Fertility Center.
She completed a course in integrative medicine with the world-famous professor Emma Gonikman.
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