I have an 8-year-old daughter, recently gave birth to another child. I know my daughter can feel rejected and stuff, but she has started lying terribly lately and has been cheating about the money she's been spending. Recently, she took 30 zlotys and said that someone stole her and in fact she bought a toy for it. There were many similar situations, I will not list them all here. He lies at every step and I slowly do not know if when he says something, it is true or a lie. I'm terribly worried about her behavior, I don't know what to do.
Hello! First, in this age such situations do happen. Children begin to grow up, mature, their way of thinking and acting changes. You must be extremely vigilant and attentive now. Consider whether your daughter spends too much time with other children and not enough time with her family. Is it not also a company that you do not know and cannot control. I know it's difficult with a small child, but it is this eight-year-old girl who needs you the most - your time, attention, talks, spending time together. You have to realize that these are also the last years when you have such a big influence on her. If you "slip away" now, it will be very difficult for you to make up for it. You will not have such an influence on a teenager and getting along with her will then be almost a miracle. The toddler must be looked after, it is a fact, but you have to reconcile it. For now, he requires practical "service" and the daughter of a loving mum who talks, plays and explains the world. Lying is usually the result of fear - the child is afraid of your reaction to what he or she actually has to say. He is afraid of punishment, he is afraid of unpleasant comments, he is afraid of the consequences. You have to implement the rule that the worst truth is best than a lie. Never punish her for telling the truth. May you bear the consequences only when you learn about a lie. And don't focus on what she's doing "constantly" wrong, but for a while try to concentrate on being closer to her as she is. Tell her how much you love and accept her (not only with words but with actions!) And be of good cheer.
Remember that our expert's answer is informative and will not replace a visit to the doctor.
Tatiana Ostaszewska-MosakHe is a clinical he alth psychologist.
Graduated from the Faculty of Psychology at the University of Warsaw.
She has always been particularly interested in the issue of stress and its impact on human functioning.
She uses her knowledge and experience at psycholog.com.pl and at the Fertimedica Fertility Center.
She completed a course in integrative medicine with the world-famous professor Emma Gonikman.
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