I have a problem with my parents. I am already an adult daughter, unfortunately it is not too happy with my parents. They argue very often for both banal and specific reasons. They are 50 and can't talk to each other. They reproach each other, they do to each other out of spite. Dad is thinking more and more about suicide, and mom is getting a divorce. The worst thing is that they don't listen to me, and they don't want to go to the counseling or psychologist either. What should I do? All this hurts me and I want to help them, but I don't know how …
Unfortunately, there's not much you can do about it if your parents aren't willing to cooperate. It is hard to comprehend, but people often prefer to remain unhappy than to change anything in their lives. It seems too difficult for them, not worth the trouble, they don't believe that they can change anything. And sometimes they wait for the other side to show humility and a will to repair first and then they will decide something. This is where people burn in their anger and injustice that has grown over the years and still only expect outside support and help. They prefer to argue and continue to plunge into hopelessness than to start working with themselves. They think - I've already done so much that I can't, I don't have the strength, I don't want to. It is sad to see it if our parents do it and it doesn't matter to them but their own anger and regret. It is a great learning for you - how not to proceed in your own relationship and what will be important to you to create a peaceful home in the future. This is all you can - stay neutral, calm and distant. Taking sides for one of the parties will only make matters worse and make it difficult to reach an agreement. you have to understand that it is your parents' choice to live like that. You can try to talk, convince and show examples, but be aware that you do not roll much. You can't fight for them - it never brings the expected results.
Remember that our expert's answer is informative and will not replace a visit to the doctor.
Tatiana Ostaszewska-MosakHe is a clinical he alth psychologist.
Graduated from the Faculty of Psychology at the University of Warsaw.
She has always been particularly interested in the issue of stress and its impact on human functioning.
She uses her knowledge and experience at psycholog.com.pl and at the Fertimedica Fertility Center.
Completed a course in medicineintegration at the world-famous professor Emma Gonikman.
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