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I have a problem with being quiet. When he wants to talk to someone new, either I don't dare or I think he'll laugh at me. I don't know how to talk to a stranger first. I have the impression that in class (I go to junior high school) I look like a fool, because if I say something louder, the boys laugh about it, and if I tell them something, they will be even more so. When I am silent it is the same. I'm going to high school soon and starting all over again. I am afraid to go to a new environment. How to deal with all of this?
Hello! The basic problem you have to deal with is accepting the fact that not everyone will always like you and you will not be accepted by everyone. There will always be someone who may not like you, and there will always be someone who will like you less. Of course, there will also be some who you like and who will not mind your company. Usually, it is this attitude - when we are very afraid of not being accepted by the environment - that prevents us from showing what we really are. There is no point in pretending to be the life of the party if you are actually a bit shy and quiet. It's artificial, and in time it will turn out to be not your true nature. Then it will be even harder for you. It is best to bet on a few proven people and on spontaneous contacts during school situations. You just have to take a chance and say anything that might interest you and the other person. Will it be a group exercise, homework or extracurricular activities, or the music you listen to, or an interesting movie that you saw in the cinema … Clothes, newspapers, telephones, commuting to school, parents, teachers, reading through which not you can wade through or a magazine made together … Take a look around and the topics will find themselves. Just don't set the bar too high - it really doesn't have to be anything special to start with. Everyday life can also be interesting if you look at it the right way. The new school is a good opportunity - don't be afraid - each of you will be in a similar situation. You can present yourself as you want. Choose naturalness, not posturing, and do not be afraid of being so panicky.
Remember that our expert's answer is informative and will not replace a visit to the doctor.
Tatiana Ostaszewska-MosakHe is a clinical he alth psychologist.
Graduated from the Faculty of Psychology at the University of Warsaw.
She has always been particularly interested in the issue of stress and its impact on human functioning.
She uses her knowledge and experience at psycholog.com.pl and at the Fertimedica Fertility Center.
She completed a course in integrative medicine with the world-famous professor Emma Gonikman.
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