Shyness can completely paralyze everyday life, hinder contacts and conversations with people, and have an impact on the quality of work and social life. Time to face it! Because if you act, you can control your shyness.

Althoughshynessmay seem cute, add mystery, but when it is increased, it interferes with life. It inhibits you from taking action, makes it difficult to establish relationships .If you hide from the world repeatedly, you have to deal with her. It takes a bit of patience, but the effort will pay off.

Shyness has many faces

Some of us are afraid to speak at meetings, others lose our confidence in public speaking, others are embarrassed in the presence of several people or are paralyzed by the mere thought of making a new acquaintance. Because it's rare that someone is shy in all situations. You usually lose your self-confidence when you feel threatened.

Think about the situations in which you feel the greatest stress. What makes you feel insecure then? Or is there someone you feel particularly anxious about? Also, try to observe the symptoms of your shyness - are your hands shaking, your heart beating faster, your cheeks are red, you are sweating excessively, are you unable to express yourself? Often, the fear of these reactions additionally exacerbates the shame.

Once you have realized the situations in which you are losing your confidence, start trying to change it. Here are some useful tips.

Important

Unsure since childhood

Shyness may result from family predispositions, but it is also strengthened by upbringing. If a child is not allowed to react spontaneously, he or she conducts him, he does not ask for his opinion - he begins to feel insecure and confused. Another problem is that young people spend a lot of time in front of the computer - this makes them lose the need for direct contact with their peers. All they need is text messages and e-mails. With time, an ordinary conversation becomes a problem because they cannot express themselves and avoid eye contact.

1. Break up

Use the method of small steps. Try to overcome your resistance in various everyday situations: ask passersby for an hour or a way, in a store, ask a saleswoman to advise you on the choice of goods, have short conversations in placespublic, e.g. in a queue, waiting room at the doctor's. Such exercises will make you feel more and more confident in dealing with others. Compliments are a good way to start a conversation. Also remember to smile - it causes positive reactions of the other party.

2. Tame your fears

If you are terribly afraid of a situation - e.g. interviewing for a job, making friends at a party - just imagine it. Think about what you should say and how to behave in order to do well. Practice a few variants of questions and answers to be better prepared. Also, tame the people you fear in your mind - imagine that they are ordinary people who brush their teeth, sometimes have hiccups, sleep badly, etc. This will make it easier for you to break through.

Practice reading aloud before speaking in public. Ask a loved one to listen to you - he will tell you what you can improve and cheer you up. You can also speak to … your pet. It won't catch your imperfections, but speaking to it will allow you to get used to your voice and feel more confident. When you are afraid of surprising questions during a speech, use a simple trick - suggest to the audience that you will present your lecture first and questions can be asked later. In the meantime, they will probably be answered and some participants will drop them, and you will not be disturbed by your speech. If, on the other hand, you feel embarrassed during your speech, imagine that the audience is cheering for you or is… naked - it will undoubtedly embolden you.

3. Play actress

Imagine a bold, go-getting person, think about what they should be like, and then just play them. Try to exercise as often as possible, because by changing the way you behave, you will change the way you think about yourself. Also, watch your hit friends - how they cope in new or stressful situations, e.g. how they maintain a conversation with a person they just met, how they behave before an important presentation about their body language. And follow them as an example.

4. Take care of yourself

Are you blocking the fact that you seem unattractive to yourself? Still wondering how others perceive you? Try to do a little experiment with the camera (e.g. in a cell phone) - record yourself when you are telling something. This will allow you to look at yourself from a distance, with a cool eye. You will know what to work on, what to change in order to feel better in your own skin.

If, for example, you nervously brush your fringe, pin it, and if you gesticulate too much, try to control it, e.g. by clasping your hands together. Or maybe it is worth improving something in your appearance, e.g.to change your hairstyle, makeup, style of dress? Knowing that you look good will help you feel more confident.

You can also improve your image in your own eyes by expanding your knowledge. For example, if you have any hobbies or dream to develop in some scientific field, subscribe to an interest group. Passion will help you open up to others.

See the gallery of 10 photosAccording to an expertMonika Dreger, psychologist, Warsaw Psychological Group

Shyness is often confused with low self-esteem. So let's think about ourselves and try to write 30 positive sentences about ourselves. If they include the following statements: "I am a nice and liked person", "It is difficult for me to establish contact with someone", it indicates shyness. If, on the other hand, the phrases: "I am hopeless", "I'm not working out" prevail, the problem is low self-esteem, which usually has deeper causes. And this diagnosis determines how we should proceed. Because although both problems seem similar, they cannot be tackled with the same methods. But when we know what we're dealing with, it's easier to choose the right path and achieve success.

5. Distract

When you are in the company of unfamiliar people, don't be obsessive about compromising yourself by saying or doing something inappropriate. What is certain is that if you act unnaturally, it will be noticed. And you don't want that. So try to skillfully focus your attention on others. Say something nice, get interested in the other person's knowledge, provoke them to talk about themselves, e.g. by catching phrases in their statements that you can use to ask additional questions (e.g. if someone says that they like reading books, ask what they have read recently, if he has any favorite writers, what he can recommend you, etc.). Before you know it, the conversation will kick in.

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