I have a picture on my fridge - Piotr and I are standing in front of the setting sun. This is my last belly photo. A few hours later my contractions started and what I feared the most was the delivery.
The word " childbirth " was first mentioned inbirthing school , but then it seemed so distant, so abstract that I pushed the thought of him far aside. I was kind of learning how to breathe, as if I was wondering what it would be like, but to tell you the truth, I didn't care at all about what awaited me. And suddenly, at the end of the 8th month, the doctor found that the headof the babywas so low that I could give birth at any moment. From then on, I lived on a time bomb. I did not go away from home, I did not go out alone, until finally I was unable to do anything at all except waiting for the birth.
Waiting for delivery
My stomach was heavy - so much so that it was difficult for me to climb to the third floor. My back ached, the skin on my stomach itched and it felt like it was going to burst. I went to the bathroom every half hour. I couldn't sleep, and when I finally fell asleep, I dreamed that I was giving birth. I woke up drenched in sweat and breathed a relief that it wasn't time yet. Over and over again, I asked my friends what it was like when the waters broke and how, sorry, my daughter was to get out of me. It made me terrible. And my daughter was fine. She just kicked like a man possessed and often stuck her legs through the skin until the bulge was visible. We were betting on whether it is a pupa, a hand or a head. Even so, I still didn't realize that she would be with us in a moment. But the girl wasn't going to go out into the world at all.
Harbingers of childbirth
We spent New Year's Eve with friends, and I was the highlight of the evening, because what a heca would it be if I suddenly got contractions. To be honest, I didn't like going to the hospital straight from the party at all. And it was nice that no one believed that I could give birth immediately. "You look lovely," I heard. My girlfriends, who had had their births behind them, told me to stand sideways and expertly assessed: "The belly has not lowered yet, you are carrying it for another week or two …" or "You don't have the birth face yet". What does "birth face" mean? - I asked. - Well, so poured. When you get swollen, it's time to pack your bag. Every morning I would get up and check in the mirror if the face was already "in labor".
Startchildbirth
On this walk, the photo of which is hanging on the refrigerator, my friend looked at me searchingly and assessed: "Er, another two weeks". I breathed a sigh, because I was not eager to experience the horrors I had read and heard about … We walked in the woods for several hours. We had dinner in the restaurant, took the movie to the rental shop, and finally made it home. When the little one was digging more, I winced slightly, and Piotrek immediately asked: “And what? Already?". Each time I shrugged my shoulders. - How do I know? But I was going to the bathroom to check if my water had broken off. We went to bed around midnight. I felt weak. I fell asleep but slept for only an hour. I was awakened by a pain unlike any other. I opened my eyes and knew: it begins. The pain repeated at regular intervals. As if someone plugged me in and turned me off after a while. When it was "plugged in", I would grit my teeth, making my whole body go numb. I lay staring out the window, gritting my teeth, hoping it would pass… but the contraction came with equal frequency. Finally I jumped out of bed and started pacing the house nervously. This woke Piotrek. He asked in a panic: "Are we going to the hospital?" I was shaking my head, "No, not yet. Sleep. " After the contractions eased a little, I lay down, but I couldn't sleep. Their severity has changed, not their frequency. I was terrified. I knew it was already happening. I grabbed the book and started reading to find out if it was labor or predictive contractions. I wanted to avoid going to the hospital several times.
Night action
I couldn't even lie down for a moment. I took different positions: on both sides, I curled up into a ball. I tried not to groan in pain, but Piotrek turned on the light anyway and started getting dressed. "We're going to the hospital," he announced firmly. "No, not yet. It's not giving birth yet… ”I frowned and almost cried. But the contractions increased more and more. After all, it seemed to me that I couldn't stand it. We started the stopwatch and decided to measure them. They were irregular - once every 7th, once every 15 minutes. Nevertheless, Piotrek immediately went to get the "birthing bag" - I had it packed from the 36th week of pregnancy. It was after four in the morning. We had about four minutes' drive to the hospital. When we were going down the stairs, Piotrek joked that the three of us will be back here. "Right," I laughed and threw my hat at him. "I'm not giving birth yet." As soon as I got in the car, I had the feeling that I was feeling better and that I could go home. When we arrived at St. Zofia, in front of the entrance to the delivery room, I saw a colleague from work. It turned out that Filip was taking picturesduring the birth of friends. So I entered the hospital laughing from ear to ear.
Too early though
Maybe that's why the midwife didn't take us seriously - she yelled at me and told me to wait, although there was no one else in the waiting room. When she invited me into the little room, she filled out a pile of forms, demanded the test results. She asked what time the contractions occurred and decided it was too early. However, she ordered to wait a while - because the doctor was to make the decision about it. I wasn't feeling well, but the prospect of postponing the birth was so nice that I sat down in the waiting room and hugged Piotrek. Then they hooked me up to the KTG. I listened to our child's heartbeat and was even more afraid. I couldn't believe this was happening! Entering the doctor's office, I was convinced that I would be home in a moment, the contractions would pass, that this was a little false start preparing me for a real competition … Suddenly the doctor said that although the contractions were irregular, but the dilatation "three-four" and in the relationship I stay with this. "After the examination, the labor will go even faster," she informed me. I was shocked. I ran to the bathroom because I thought my water was finally breaking, but instead of it I saw something brown, like a clot of blood. I got scared, but the midwife said cheerfully: - Great, the mucus plug came out. Only then did I understand that I was about to collide with the maximum physiology of the body.
On pathology
Then everything happened quickly. Piotrek was told to go home and wait for a call, and I was transported to a pathology of pregnancy. I didn't even look back, and it was seven in the morning. I changed into a tracksuit, a T-shirt and laid it like a log on the bed. Out of all eight in the room, only I was grimacing in pain. I didn't even have the strength to cover myself with a blanket or dig my phone out of my bag. Shivering with fear, or maybe cold, I tried to fight the growing pain. The other ladies, wearing knee-length T-shirts, walked around like a flock of ducklings, swaying from side to side, and combed themselves in front of the mirror, chatting cheerfully. And I groaned every time the contraction went. The tears were flying by themselves, I didn't even try to hold them back.
The first hardest
Meanwhile, life went on as normal. The attendant came to wipe the floor. Then a breakfast was served that I couldn't touch. The midwife measured my pelvis. Another put a piece of paper with some columns on my cupboard. "Please write down the frequency of your contractions here," she showed. I was afraid to move, I did not understand how else I would have to control time! "I can't. It hurts… ”I groaned. "What a panikara you are!" -the midwife commented and left. "It's just a tickle," said the fattest of "bellies" with a laugh, dressed in a fireman's red dressing gown and a huge bun on his head. “It's just predictive contractions. It is still a long way to go to childbirth. Is this your first? ”. I nodded my head. “The first is the hardest. Then it goes downhill, ”she waved her hand. "I gave birth to six." I couldn't answer, I couldn't laugh. I couldn't get to the bathroom. When I thought contractions were every five minutes, I went to the midwives' office. I asked for another (already third) painkiller pill, but was told to sit on a gynecological chair instead. The fracture was at four, but the amniotic fluid still hadn't gone away. I was asked if I consented to the bladder puncture and the administration of oxytocin. - I wish it would all be over as soon as possible - I choked out.
Invaluable help
I called Piotr. He arrived in half an hour. I was transferred to a single room where I was to give birth. My midwife was a firm girl, not much older than me. She gave me a hot bath, then made me sit on the ball. I also practiced with the ladders. The pain was paralyzing, and the midwife said it was just the beginning… I didn't know if I would survive it. The only consolation for me was that Piotrek is with me. He helped me a lot. He led to the bathroom, applied a cold handkerchief, and in the last stage of labor he held his hand. And most of all it was. - If I die, will you take care of the baby? - I tried to joke.
Inhale - exhale
My biggest problem was breathing, and only then did I understand why it was so important in childbirth classes. As the contraction came, I clenched my teeth involuntarily and held the air in my lungs. It made the pain worse. After many attempts, I finally learned how to breathe properly - just like my midwife told me. This made it easier for me to endure each contraction. But it still hurt more and more. I asked for anesthesia and the pains eased for a while. I thought it would stay that way. I even managed to joke and fool around! But then the pain increased, as if the grenade was about to burst me to pieces. I also immediately demanded another dose of anesthesia. I tried to give birth on the side, by the ladder, squatting … finally I managed to do it in the classic position, after seven hours. Every half an hour or so I asked for a painkiller, but the midwife just yelled at me that I wouldn't be able to push.
I'm leaving here
There was a moment in the last phase when I thought that I was gone, that I would not be able to do it. I even wanted to take my things and leave … But the midwife - experienced in suchsituations, she acted like a professional negotiator: - Kasia, look at me! I will not give birth myself, you have to help me! Be born finally! Ochrzan acted instantly. I imagined that I would caress myself here and that the child would suffocate. I remembered that most cerebral palsy is the result of poor labor … I decided that I had to tense and push. I have to give birth to her ( although I wish someone would do it for me). I was furious that it was taking so long, and maybe that's why I finally started to breathe properly. I rested as the contraction eased, gathered strength, and pushed as he walked. I don't want to remember the end of labor. I know that I no longer care what was happening, what I looked like, what fluids were leaking out of me. I yelled, I moaned, I wailed out loud. When the head started to come out, the midwife put on a special apron, took out a drawer with tools and pressed a button that turned my comfortable bed into a gynecological plane.
Finishing
I felt that it was the ending and I pushed harder and harder. Finally the head came out, I thought it would tear me apart … The midwife skillfully turned the baby to the side, took it out of me and placed it on my stomach. At this point, I forgot everything. I froze. There was silence. I was looking at my baby and I was wondering why her feet and hands were so big … It occurred to me that maybe she was sick … Maybe I didn't take care of myself during pregnancy, drank too much coffee, one glass of wine too much … she began to scream loudly. The wrinkled face looked pretty to me. - Welcome to the country - I whispered to Nina (who did not stop howling), and to Piotr: - Honey, I think we have a child …
We have a baby
It was amazing, wonderful, magical. That we lived it all together. I didn't feel them stapling me, I didn't think about what would happen next. All my attention was focused on the child. From that moment on, I thought, there would never be 'me' again, and whatever I did, it would always be 'we'. My concerns about her he alth turned out to be exaggerated. Nina got ten points on the Apgar scale, she weighed four kilograms. I was able to handle it without any problems. I've never de alt with young children, but they taught me everything in the hospital. The little one was screaming non-stop. I envied other mothers whose children sometimes slept. I was exhausted, I looked like seven misfortunes. I hardly slept, never had time to eat a hot meal. Anyway, in my life I did not like cold porridge that way. I was glad to have anything to eat at all. With trembling hands, I cried, hugged, tried to feed … And Nina cried, cried, cried.
Metamorphosis
Whenhowever, we returned home, she turned from a devil into an angel. The secret was that milk appeared in my breasts. The child ate greedily and fell asleep. For the first three weeks my breasts hurt and I had to put a special cream on them. Then I got used to the feeding, I even started to enjoy it, it made us so close. My groin hurt for another month. But I got into my pre-pregnancy jeans two weeks after giving birth! Unfortunately, the belly itself did not want to return to its former size. I go to the pool, exercise, go to the sauna. I dream about getting enough sleep, because Nina doesn't get more than five or six hours of sleep at night. It's supposed to be a lot.
Eighth wonder of the world
But now I can't imagine my life without her. It is a miracle. Lovely, she smiles at me. I look for my own characteristics, similarities to myself, Piotr and my grandparents. I don't remember the pain, the fear anymore. Everything is gone. What terrified me before is not important. Priorities have changed. Have I matured? When I go out to the editorial office or the store for three hours, I really miss her. After I come back, I can't hug her. I'm going to breastfeed her for as long as possible. Career awaits. Work will wait. Nina is the most important thing now. However, this does not mean that I am giving up on ambition. No, what is it, no! I wish my daughter was proud of me.
monthly "M jak mama"