I have a big problem that I have been struggling with for many years. When I was little I heard voices in my head. For example, I woke up in the morning and heard that on the floor below (I lived in a single-family house) there was a party. Of course, there was no party. The noises disappeared the moment I went downstairs and I realized that there was no people or music. It stopped when I was about 10 years old, but since then I have felt an enormous desire to hurt someone again. I had a younger friend whom I threatened with a knife, and the sight of her tears of fear filled me with pleasure. This is my only prank. However, it happens when I have to fight similar desires every day. I make sure that, for example, while standing in the subway, I do not push someone under a speeding train. If I am on a mountain, I also struggle with the desire to throw someone into the abyss. I am afraid that one day I will not stop myself. What should I do? What is this coincidence? Where to apply?
Visit a psychiatrist, as you have done now, but not virtually, but to talk in person. Because there is a problem. I suspect that it is now about mental obsessions. You can help for that. I do not know how to describe what you experienced in childhood, but this is no longer a problem.
Remember that our expert's answer is informative and will not replace a visit to the doctor.
Tomasz JaroszewskiSecond degree psychiatrist
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