I have two daughters (11 months and 5 years old). You could say that I raise them by myself - the husband works on a business trip and comes home every 2-3 weeks on the weekend. When he arrives, there is often an argument - he wants to rest, and I'm tired too. I have no one to support and help me, and raising two daughters is not easy. I am waiting for my husband impatiently and when he comes, instead of cheering me up a bit, I only hear that "I want to go fishing, for example" etc. the end. Do I make any mistakes?
Renato! I understand your problem perfectly. Most men have a very different psyche to ours. Experience shows, however, that when a man is emotionally connected with his family and draws his attention to existing problems, he becomes concerned with the situation and becomes active. Usually, the behaviors you describe are not due to ill will but focus on other areas of reality. You understand that your husband wants to rest after working for three weeks. However, he does not see your daily struggles and it simply does not occur to him that you may be tired and expect him to be involved in activities and family life. There is no other way to solve your problem than to talk. These are, after all, your common affairs. It would undoubtedly be easier if you could organize some daily help. But it depends on your financial capabilities. To sum up: you need to have a quiet conversation. Describe your working day, say that you are very tired and expect help. To say that you miss him, you wait for him to come back and he will be with you, also in everyday hardships. If you find it difficult to talk, write a journal for a few days. Send a letter illustrating your effort and write what you expect. It is important that the husband knows about all this. You can see that without this knowledge, he will not start to think about your problems himself. I wish you good luck. B.
Remember that our expert's answer is informative and will not replace a visit to the doctor.
Barbara Śreniowska-SzafranEducator with many years of experience.
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