- Why does a person with cancer lack the desire to have sex?
- How to rebuild intimacy when one of the partners is sick?
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When a diagnosis of cancer occurs, the person and their partner's thoughts are primarily focused on the disease. The last thing you think about at this point is sex. This topic is not discussed either by the patients themselves or by the doctors. Meanwhile, sex is an important part of our everyday life. It affects our well-being and self-image. KancerSurtra is the campaign of the Rak'n'Roll foundation, aimed at women suffering from cancer and their partners.
Cancer does not exclude sex life.Loving and intimacy are always possible - regardless of physical problems or medical history. The effects of treatment almost never lead to a loss of the ability to feel pleasure at touch. Resuming sexual activity may raise some concerns, so it is worth remembering that the first intercourse may differ from the current life. It is important that partners are open to looking for a form of closeness that will be real and satisfying for both parties.
As a result of surgical operations, which often leave permanent traces of mutilation and disability, many women lose their sense of value and attractiveness, which translates into everyday functioning, including intimate relationships. In such a situation, time and commitment of both partners to rebuild the image of a sick person are needed. It is also worth taking care of nice underwear, a well-chosen wig or other head covering and personal attributes of attractiveness - says psycho-oncologist and couples therapist Mariola Kosowicz.
Why does a person with cancer lack the desire to have sex?
There are several reasons for this. At the beginning of treatment, fears for life and he alth are so intense that our interest in sex drops significantly. During this period, the presence of a loved one, their devotion and a sense of common concern for the he alth of the sick person and mutual relations is important.
In addition, oncological treatment disrupts the body's hormonal balance, which may also contribute to the loss of desire for sex. Some women go through a premature menopause during this period, which also affects their sex life.
In turn, as a result of surgical operations, which often leave permanent traces of mutilation and disability, many women lose their sense of value and attractiveness, which translates into everyday functioning, including intimate relationships. Inin such a situation, time and involvement of both partners in rebuilding the image of the sick person are needed.
This will be useful to youHow to rebuild intimacy when one of the partners is sick?
1. Give yourself time! It is natural if during the treatment period the sphere of intimate life was relegated to the background, because other priorities emerge. However, it is worth giving yourself time and slowly returning to the moments of closeness and tenderness.
2.… but don't wait too long! The partner of the sick person often waits for a sign whether the partner is ready to start sexual activity again. When rejecting a partner, we have to reckon with the fact that both sides will accept the situation and will not take any step towards change. It is not worth waiting too long for the problem to resolve itself.
3. Talk to me! It is worth talking frankly with your partner about your fears, anxieties, inhibitions, avoiding malice or mutual claims. Everyday life is not insignificant. How we relate to each other, whether we trust each other or argue - it all affects closeness and intimacy.
4. Play! Intimacy is not only sex, but also a hug, caress, gentle kiss, massage. They allow you to feel closeness and security.
5. Build a mood! It is worth building a deliberate atmosphere that favors closeness with the help of music, candles, and a shared bath. However, you should choose the right time and place. The fear that someone might disturb the peace of these moments leads to a blockade.
ImportantKancerSutrais a method of mastering the art of love in illness and at the same time the name of the new social campaignRak'n'Roll Foundation . The campaign is directed primarily to women suffering from cancer, as well as to their partners, whose support during treatment is particularly important. The project aims to show that despite the disease it is still possible to have an active sex life, and also to provide professional support to couples who stopped having a successful sex life due to cancer.
There is also a websitewww.kancersutra.pl , where you can find basic information about the problem and advice, as well as practical information about sexual gadgets, tricks and ideas for a successful sex. As part of the website, an anonymous online clinic operated by experts will also be launched. From September, workshops for women with sexologists will be held to help overcome barriers to sexual life during or after illness.