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I am 24 years old and have a problem with maintaining an erection. During joint caresses with my partner, I achieve a proper erection, but when putting on a condom, it loses its stiffness, which makes it impossible to insert it into the vagina. Sometimes, however, it is successful, but when trying to change position, that is after taking it out of the vagina for good, it immediately loses stiffness and prevents us from continuing intercourse … I am devastated by this. My partner is very understanding, we've been together for a few years, there is no stress whatsoever, so what could be the reason for this?
Please answer a few questions: Have you always been having erection difficulties? Did they only show up with their current partner? Was everything okay at the beginning of your relationship and the problem suddenly emerged? If so, did something important happen then?
Does the correct erection come during masturbation and in the morning? If there is no difficulty in achieving an erection during masturbation and in the morning, and you achieve it during other caresses with your partner, it would suggest that these are psychological causes. It does not necessarily have to be stressful with a newly met woman, but it may result, for example, from problems in the relationship (quarrels, grievances that have not been fully explained), boredom and monotony in the relationship, and the usual exhaustion and overwork.
Other psychological factors include low self-esteem, unconscious fears related to your sexuality.
Organic factors usually affect men at a later age, men suffering from hypertension, diabetes, and depression. A characteristic feature of these causes, however, is that difficulties with erection also appear during caresses, masturbation and in the morning. Moreover, they do not appear suddenly, but gradually progress. However, for a thorough analysis of the problem, I recommend meeting a sexologist.
Remember that our expert's answer is informative and will not replace a visit to the doctor.
Magdalena Krzak (Bogdaniuk)
Psychologist, psychotherapist, clinical sexologist and forensic sexologist. She has a Clinical Sexologist Certificate, awarded by the Polish Sexological Society, after completing full specialization in clinical sexology in Warsaw, and a Sexologist CertificateJudicial. He deals with the treatment of sexual disorders in women and men. He works both individually and with couples. She conducts psychotherapy for victims of sexual violence. He conducts diagnostics and psychological support for transsexual people.
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