For several years I masturbated myself by pouring a large stream of water directed at the clitoris. It gave me great pleasure, sometimes I even achieved multiple orgasms. I think I was addicted to it, sometimes I did it out of habit. The problem is that for a few months I started having sex with my boyfriend, unfortunately without climaxing, despite the fact that he devotes a lot of time to me, and having sex with him is extremely pleasant. Of course, when I started having an orgasmic problem, I gave up on masturbation (with great difficulty, but I did), but I still don't see the effects. I read about anorgasmia, probably all the possible statements posted on the Internet, and I found a complex of coded sexual reactions. Unfortunately, I do not have enough money and courage to contact a sexologist in person. I know that I am a young person, so I think it's better for me to start doing something now than wait and struggle. I am asking for help, what should I do in my situation? Is it possible for me to orgasm someday with my boyfriend and how do I get there? Are there recoveries from the encoded sexual response syndrome?
In fact, your symptoms indicate a coded sexual response. First of all, please consider what stimulation by your partner and which parts of the body are most satisfying to you. Since so far you have achieved an orgasm by stimulating the clitoris, please continue to stimulate it during intercourse. Many women do not orgasm with vaginal stimulation only with clitoral stimulation, and this is perfectly normal.
How do I get rid of coded sexual responses?
I think you should gradually step out of the old ways of masturbating. Try to masturbate initially by stimulating the clitoris with your finger to try to get an orgasm. Then try to stimulate the clitoris during intercourse with your partner, the best position is "from the back", where you are facing the partner with your buttocks. The last step is to ask your partner to start stimulating your clitoris with a finger or tongue.
You probably used this type of masturbation to relieve stress, tension and anxiety, and it was the fastest waythe achievement of pleasure. That is why it is so difficult for you to give it up now. It is worth considering other ways to relieve emotional tension. If the given methods do not bring results, you should contact a sexologist who will help you in this regard.
Remember that our expert's answer is informative and will not replace a visit to the doctor.
Magdalena Krzak (Bogdaniuk)
Psychologist, psychotherapist, clinical sexologist and forensic sexologist. He has a Clinical Sexologist Certificate, awarded by the Polish Society of Sexology, after completing full specialization in clinical sexology in Warsaw, and a Court Sexologist Certificate. He deals with the treatment of sexual disorders in women and men. He works both individually and with couples. She conducts psychotherapy for victims of sexual violence. He conducts diagnostics and psychological support for transsexual people.
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