I make love to my partner quite often. Unfortunately, while I do come several times - he doesn't seem to come at all. Even if I spend a lot of time and try hard to make him ejaculate orally - I get nothing. It irritates me a lot and I feel terrible. I don't know why this is so and when we talk about it, he laughs at the fact that I can't get him to ejaculate. I am inexperienced, this is my first partner. Also, my partner avoids sex with a condom. Despite my best efforts, nothing changes. Please reply.
It is important for your partner to tell you if there are any situations in which he ejaculates. It does not have to be related to incorrect caresses undertaken by the lady - but if this is the case, then you should say what caresses are appropriate for him, because you do not need to know it yourself (you are not a clairvoyant). Another reason may be that you become accustomed to one form of stimulation, such as masturbation, which is a simple and quick form of relieving sexual and sometimes emotional tension. Sometimes men, who often masturbated before having sex with their partner, got used to one type of stimulation and it is difficult to arouse them in another way, so masturbation remains their main form of release, despite the fact that they have the possibility of intercourse with their partner. It may also be that a man needs a special, unusual type of stimulation to be sufficiently aroused, but he does not tell his partner about it, because he is ashamed. There are also situations in which a man cannot reach orgasm with any stimulation and it may be due to disease factors or mental problems. In each of the above situations (if the change of the stimulation you use does not affect the partner), the man should see a sexologist for treatment. The lady, on the other hand, has the right to feel bad in this situation and demand that her partner change it.
Remember that our expert's answer is informative and will not replace a visit to the doctor.
Magdalena Krzak (Bogdaniuk)
Psychologist, psychotherapist, clinical sexologist and forensic sexologist. She has a Clinical Sexologist Certificate, awarded by the Polish Sexological Society, after graduationfull specialization in clinical sexology in Warsaw and a Certificate of Forensic Sexologist. He deals with the treatment of sexual disorders in women and men. He works both individually and with couples. She conducts psychotherapy for victims of sexual violence. He conducts diagnostics and psychological support for transsexual people.
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