I've been in a relationship for half a year. Before that, I was only in two relationships, one for 4 years, the other - two. In the former, I did not have intercourse, in the latter, I did. I have never minded and had no interest in my partners' sexual life. My other partner cheated on me regularly, I found out during my relationship and after my friends told me the truth about who I was with. My self-esteem has diminished. Now I'm in another relationship and my partner's past is a big problem for me. Not that he had girlfriends, was in a relationship, and had sex, I understand. One-off adventures are a problem for me. His friends told me about a girl he slept with after a disco, but he explains that they were leading a dissolute life and he didn't want to be "different", so he told them that he "passed", but that it was not true. He cried, he swore, he even called the girl so that she would tell me the truth. He said that he was afraid of losing me, he confessed to her that he had told his friends that he had slept with her and that now the lie was reflected on him. He begged her to tell me the truth as it was. The girl told me that there was nothing between them, so that we would not quarrel and part because of something that had not happened. But I still have a problem with it today, I get up in the morning and think if it's true … Was it really so? Was it not a one-off adventure with which I probably would never be able to come to terms with …? I am terribly jealous of this, my thoughts do not allow me to function normally and be happy. I don't know what to do to forget about it. He never gave me a reason not to believe him, he never lied to me. But now I have a feeling that something is wrong with us, because of me. Sometimes I even imagine it, even though I don't want it terribly. I don't know what to do, please help.
If you decide to have a relationship with a man, you will not be able to create a successful relationship without trust. Your current partner has not deserved to repent of your previous relationship. He has nothing to do with this relationship.
The decision to bond with a man is also associated with the decision to trust him and give him a credit of trust. Without it, the relationship has no future. Your behavior will not have a positive effect on your partner.If he wanted to cheat on you, he would have done it anyway. If, on the other hand, you continue to behave in this way, your behavior will lead to the fact that you will actually start looking for another woman who will trust him and whom you will not have to explain all the time.
If you cannot cope with jealousy attacks, I recommend that you visit a psychologist.
Remember that our expert's answer is informative and will not replace a visit to the doctor.
Magdalena Krzak (Bogdaniuk)
Psychologist, psychotherapist, clinical sexologist and forensic sexologist. He has a Clinical Sexologist Certificate, awarded by the Polish Society of Sexology, after completing full specialization in clinical sexology in Warsaw, and a Court Sexologist Certificate. He deals with the treatment of sexual disorders in women and men. He works both individually and with couples. She conducts psychotherapy for victims of sexual violence. He conducts diagnostics and psychological support for transsexual people.
More advice from this expert
Contraception after pregnancy [Expert advice]No tender kisses [Expert Advice]Not wanting to have sex [Expert Advice]No desire for sex [Expert's tip]No orgasm [Expert Advice]Lack of arousal during sex [Expert Advice]Failure to ejaculate [Expert Advice]What to do when your partner fails or you have sex? [Expert advice]Can neurosis affect erection? [Expert advice]How To Stop Premature Ejaculation? [Expert advice]How to focus on sex? [Expert advice]How to save a marriage? [Expert advice]Masturbation - yes or no? [Expert advice]Masturbation and Sex [Expert Advice]Masturbation in a relationship [Expert Advice]Small penis circumference [Expert Advice]Husband and Internet Pornography [Expert Advice]The husband doesn't want to make love [Expert's tip]I cannot communicate with my husband [expert advice]Low male libido [Expert Advice]Concerns [Expert Advice]He withers too quickly [Expert's tip]Confidence of the past and jealousy of the partner [Expert's tip]Premature Ejaculation [Expert Advice]Triangle or maybe a quadrangle? [Expert advice]Addiction to Pornographic Movies [Expert Advice]Vagina Too Tight [Expert Advice]